Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
There was resolution on his face when he approached her. He wore the
look which never failed to move her more strongly than any other thing
on earth had ever done before, and whose power over her cost her all the
resistance of which she was capable. It had sometimes made her wonder
if, after all, it was true that women liked to be subdued--to be ruled a
little--if their rulers were gentle as well as strong. She had heard it
said so, and had often laughed at the sentiment of the popular fallacy.
She used to smile at it when it presented itself to her even in this
manner; but there had been occasions--times perhaps when she was very
tired--when she had known that she would have been glad to give way
before this look, to obey it, to feel the relief of deciding for herself
no more.
Such a feeling rose within her now. She looked neither tired nor worn;
but a certain deadly sense of fatigue, which was becoming a physical
habit with her, had been growing upon her all the evening. The color on
her cheeks was feverish, her limbs ached, her eyes were bright with her
desperate eagerness to sustain herself. Once or twice, when she had
laughed or spoken, she had been conscious of such an unnatural tone in
her voice that her heart had trembled with fear lest others should have
heard it too. It seemed impossible to her that they should not, and that
these men who listened and applauded her should not see that often she
scarcely heard them, and that she dare not stop for fear of forgetting
them altogether and breaking down in some dreadful way, which would show
that all her spirit and gayety was a lie, and only a lie poorly acted,
after all.
She thought she knew what Tredennis had come to her for. She had not
lost sight of him at any time. She had known where he stood or sat, and
whom he spoke to, and had known that he had seen her also. She had met
his eyes now and then, and smiled and looked away again, beginning to
talk to her admirers with more spirit than ever each time. What else was
there to do but go on as she had begun? She knew only too well what
reason there was in herself that she should not falter. If it had been
strong yesterday, it was ten times stronger to-day, and would be
stronger to-morrow and for many a bitter day to come. But when he came
to her she only smiled up at him, as she would have smiled at
Planefield, or the gallant and spacious Barnacles, or any other of the
men she knew.
"I hope you have had a pleasant evening," she said. "You enjoy things of
this sort so much, however, that you are always safe. I saw you talking
in the most vivacious manner to that pretty Miss Stapleton,--the one
with the eyelashes,--or rather you were listening vivaciously. You are
such a good listener."
"That's an accomplishment, isn't it?" said Planefield, with his easy
air.
"It is a gift of the gods," she answered. "And it was bestowed on
Colonel Tredennis."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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