Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"For pity's sake," he said, "don't overrate me! Women are always too
generous. Don't you see, you will find me out, and then it will be
worse for me than before."
She stood in one of her perfect, motionless attitudes, and looked down
at the rug.
"I wish to find you out," she said, slowly. "I have done you injustice."
And then she turned away and walked across the room to a table where
there were some books, and when she returned she brought one of them
with her and began to speak of it. He always felt afterward that the
memory of this "injustice," as she called it, was constantly before her,
and he would have been more than human if he had not frequently wondered
what it was. He could not help feeling that it had taken a definite
form, and that she had been betrayed into it on the evening he had first
spoken to her of the Bosworths, and that somehow his story had saved him
in her eyes. But he naturally forbore to ask questions or even touch
upon the subject, and thanked the gods for the good which befell him as
a result of the evil he had escaped. And yet, as the time passed by, and
he went oftener to the house, and found keener pleasure in each visit,
he had his seasons of fearing that it was not all going to be gain for
him; when he faced the truth, indeed, he knew that it was not all gain,
and yet he was not stoic enough to turn his back and fly.
"It will cost!" he said to himself. "It will cost! But"--
And then he would set his lips together and be silent for an hour or so,
and those of his acquaintance who demanded constant vivacity from him
began to wonder among themselves if he was quite the fellow he had been.
If the friendship was pleasant during the season, it was pleasanter when
the gayeties ceased and the spring set in, with warmer air and sunshine,
and leaves and blossoms in the parks. There was a softness in the
atmosphere not conducive to sternness of purpose and self-denial. As he
walked to and from his office he found his thoughts wandering in paths
he felt were dangerous, and once, unexpectedly meeting Mrs. Sylvestre
when so indulging himself, he started and gained such sudden color that
she flushed also, and, having stopped to speak to him, forgot what she
had intended to say, and was a little angry, both with herself and him,
when a confusing pause followed their greeting.
Their interest in the Bosworths was a tie between them which gave them
much in common. Agnes went to see them often, and took charge of Kitty,
watching over and caring for her in a tender, half-maternal fashion.
Arbuthnot took private pleasure in contemplating. He liked to hear Kitty
talk about her, and, indeed, had on more than one occasion led her with
some dexterity into doing so. It was through Kitty, at last, that his
mystery was solved for him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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