Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"Upon my word," said Richard, starting up, "I think that is going rather
far. Don't you see"--with righteous indignation--"what an imputation you
are casting on me? Do you suppose I would allow you to do anything
that--that"--
She raised her eyes and met his with an unwavering glance.
"Certainly not," she said, quickly. And his sentence remained
unfinished, not because he felt that his point had been admitted, but
because, for some mysterious reason, it suddenly became impossible for
him to say more.
More than some of late, when he had launched into one of his spasmodic
defences of himself, he had found himself checked by this intangible
power in her uplifted eyes, and he certainly did not feel his grievances
the less for the experiences.
Until during the last few months he had always counted it as one of his
wife's chief charms that there was nothing complicated about her, that
her methods were as simple and direct as a child's. It had never seemed
necessary to explain her. But he had not found this so of late. He had
even begun to feel that, though there was no outward breach in the tenor
of their lives, an almost impalpable barrier had risen between them. He
expressed no wish she did not endeavor to gratify her manner toward
himself, with the exception of the fleeting moments when he had felt the
check, was entirely unchanged; the spirit of her gayety ruled the house,
as it had always done; and yet he was not always sure of the exact
significance of her jests and laughter. The jests were clever, the laugh
had a light ring; but there was a difference which puzzled him, and
which, because he recognized in it some vague connection with himself,
he tried in his moments of leisure to explain. He had even spoken of it
to Colonel Tredennis on occasions when his mood was confidential.
"She used to be as frank as a child," he said, "and have the lightest
way in the world; and I liked it. I am a rather feather-headed fellow
myself, perhaps, and it suited me. But it is all gone now. When she
laughs I don't feel sure of her, and when she is silent I begin to
wonder what she is thinking of."
The thing she thought, the words she said to herself oftenest were: "It
will not last very long." She said them over to herself at moments she
could not have sustained herself under but for the consolation she found
in them. Beyond this time, when what she faced from day to day would be
over, she had not yet looked.
"It is a curious thing," she said to Arbuthnot, "but I seem to have
ceased even to think of the future. I wonder sometimes if very old
people do not feel so--as if there was nothing more to happen."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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