Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"If he knew what a service he would do me by seeing the rights of the
case," she said to herself, "I think he would listen to their arguments.
I think he likes me well enough to do it. I believe he would enjoy being
kind to me. If this should be the end of it all, it would be worth the
trouble of being amusing and amiable one evening."
But she did not look forward with any great pleasure to the prospect of
what was before her. Perhaps her day in the nursery had been a little
too much for her; she was tired, and would have been glad to be left
alone. But this was not to be. She must attire herself, in all her
bravery, and sing, and laugh, and be gay a little longer. How often had
she done the same thing before? How often would she do it again?
"There are some people who are born to play comedy," she said afterward,
as she stood before her mirror, dressing. "They can do nothing else. I
am one of them. Very little is expected of me, only that I shall always
laugh and make jokes. If I were to try tragedy, that would be a better
jest than all the rest. If I were to be serious, what a joke that would
be!"
She thought, as she had done a thousand times, of a portrait of herself
which had been painted three years before. It had been her Christmas
gift to Richard, and had been considered a great success. It was a
wonderfully spirited likeness, and the artist had been fortunate in
catching her brightest look.
"It is the expression that is so marvellous," Richard had often said.
"When I look at it I always expect to hear you laugh."
"Are they never tired of it?" she said; "never tired of hearing me
laugh? If I were to stop some day and say, 'See, I am tired of it
myself. I have tears as well as the rest of you. Let me'"--She checked
herself; her hands had begun to tremble--her voice; she knew too well
what was coming upon her. She looked at herself in the glass.
"I must dress myself carefully," she said, "if I am to look vivacious.
One's attire is called upon to do a great deal for one when one has a
face like that."
Outwardly her attire had done a great deal for her when, after she had
dined alone, she sat awaiting her guest. The fire burned brightly; the
old songs lay upon the piano; a low stand, with a pretty coffee service
upon it, was drawn near her; a gay little work-basket, containing some
trifle of graceful work, was on her knee. Outside, the night was
decidedly unpleasant. "So unpleasant," she said to herself, "that it
will surprise me if he comes." But though by eight o'clock the rain was
coming down steadily, at half-past eight she heard the familiar heavy
tread upon the door-step, and her visitor presented himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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