Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"No," she answered, shuddering a little, as if with cold, "it is for me
to send him away. But I must tell him first about the money. I am glad
he has come. I am glad another night will not pass without his knowing.
I think I want to speak to him alone--if you will send him here, and
wait for a little while in the library."
She did not see her father's face as he went away from her; he did not
see hers; she turned and stood upon the hearth with her back toward the
door.
She stood so when, a few minutes afterward, Philip Tredennis came in;
she stood so until he was within a few feet of her. Then she moved a
little and looked up.
What she saw in him arrested for the moment her power to speak, and for
that moment both were silent. Often as she had recognized the change
which had taken place in him, often as the realization of it had wrung
her heart, and wrung it all the more that she had understood so little,
she had never before seen it as she saw it then. All the weariness, the
anxious pain, the hopeless sadness of his past, seemed to have come to
the surface; he could endure no more; he had borne the strain too long,
and he knew too well that the end had come. No need for words to tell
him that he must lose even the poor and bitter comfort he had clung to;
he had made up his mind to that when he had defended her against the man
who himself should have been her defence.
So he stood silent and his deep eyes looked out from his strong, worn,
haggard face, holding no reproach, full only of pity for her.
There was enough to pity in her. If she saw anguish in his eyes, what he
saw in hers as she uplifted them he could scarcely have expressed in any
words he knew; surely there were no words into which he could have put
the pang their look gave him, telling him as it did that she had reached
the point where she could stand on guard no more.
"Richard," she said at length, "has gone away."
"That I knew," he answered.
"When?" she asked.
"I had a letter from him this morning," he said.
"You did not wish to tell me?" she returned.
"I thought," he began, "that perhaps"--and stopped.
"You thought that he would write to me too," she said. "He--did not."
He did not speak, and she went on.
"When I returned to-night," she said, "papa was waiting for me. He had
received a letter, too, and it told him--something he suspected
before--something I had not suspected--something I could not know"--
Her voice broke, and when she began again there was a ring of desperate
appeal to it.
"When I was a girl," she said, "when you knew me long ago, what was
there of good in me that you should have remembered it through all that
you have known of me since then?--there must have been
something--something good or touching--something more than the goodness
in yourself--that made you pitiful of me, and generous to me, and
anxious for my sake. Tell me what it was."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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