Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"When a man has nothing to offer"--he broke off and flushed up hotly.
"If I had a shadow of a right to a reason for staying," he exclaimed,
"do you suppose I should not hold on to it, and fight for it, and demand
what belonged to me? There might be a struggle--there would be; but no
other man should have one jot or tittle that persistence and effort
might win in time for me! A man who gives up is a fool! I have nothing
to give up. I haven't even the right to surrender! I hadn't the right to
enter the field and take my wounds like a man! It is pleasant to reflect
that it is my own--fault. I trifled with my life; now I want it, and I
can't get it back."
"Ah!" she said, "that is an old story!"
And then Agnes returned, and he took her home.
On their way there they talked principally of Tom and Kitty.
"They will miss you greatly," Agnes said.
"They will be very kind to do it," was his reply.
"We shall all miss you," she added.
"That will be kinder still," he answered. "Might I be permitted to quote
the ancient anecdote of the colored warrior, who, on running away in
battle, was reproached and told that a single life counted as nothing on
such great occasions, and that if he had fallen he would not have been
missed,--his reply to this heroic statement of the case being, that he
should have been likely to miss himself. I shall miss myself, and
already a gentle melancholy begins to steal over me. I am not the
gleesome creature I was before good luck befell me."
But, despite this lightness of tone, their walk was not a very cheerful
one; indeed, after this speech they were rather quiet, and they parted
with few words at the door, Arbuthnot declining to go into the house.
When Agnes entered alone Mrs. Merriam looked up from her novel in some
surprise.
"I thought I heard Mr. Arbuthnot," she said.
"He left me at the door," Mrs. Sylvestre answered.
"What!" said Mrs. Merriam, "without coming to say good-night to me! I
wanted to tell him what a dissipated evening I have been spending with
my new book."
"He has been telling us good news," said Agnes, standing before the fire
and loosening her furs. "He has been offered a consulship."
Mrs. Merriam closed her book and laid it on the table.
"Will he accept it?" she asked.
"He could scarcely refuse it," Agnes replied. "It is a decided advance;
he likes the life abroad, and it might even lead to something better in
the future; at least one rather fancies such things are an opening."
"It is true," reflected Mrs. Merriam, "that he seems to have no
particular ties to hold him in one place rather than another."
"None," said Agnes. "I don't know whether that is his fortune or his
misfortune."
"His fortune," said Mrs. Merriam. "He is of the nature to know how to
value them. Perhaps, after all, he may form them if he goes abroad. It
is not too late."
"Perhaps so," said Agnes. "That would be another reason why it would be
better for him to go."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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