Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"This--this feeling," he said, in a tremulous and troubled voice. "I
don't mean in her alone, but in any one, everywhere. I am not sure that
it ever brings happiness really in the end. I am afraid there always
_is_ an end. If there wasn't, it might be different; but I am afraid
there is. There are those of us who try to believe there is none,
but--but I am afraid those are happiest who lose all but their ideal.
There are many who lose even that, and Fate has done her worst by them."
He checked himself, and sank back in his chair.
"Ah!" he said, smiling half sadly. "I am an old man--an old man,--and it
is an old man's fancy, that the best thing in life is death. And Fate
did not do her worst by me; she left me my ideal. She had gray eyes," he
added, "and a bright face, like Bertha's. Perhaps, after all, if I had
won what I wanted, I should not feel so old to-night, and so tired. Her
face was very bright."
He had not been wholly well for some days, and to-night seemed fatigued
by the heat and languor in the air, but he was somewhat more hopeful
when he spoke of Bertha than he had been.
"I have confidence in the strength of her will," he said, "and I like
her pride and courage. She does not give away to her emotions; she
resents them fiercely, and refuses to acknowledge their powers over her.
She insists to herself that her restlessness is nervousness, and her
sadness morbid."
"She said as much to me," said Tredennis.
"Did she?" exclaimed the professor. "That is a good sign; it shows that
she has confidence in you, and that it is a feeling strong enough to
induce her to use you as a defence against her own weakness. She would
never have spoken if she had not believed that you were a sort of
stronghold. It is the old feeling of her girlhood ruling her again.
Thank Heaven for that!"
There was a ring at the front-door bell as he spoke, and a moment or so
later it was answered by a servant; buoyant feet were heard in the hall,
and paused a second on the threshold.
"Are you here, Professor?" some one inquired. "And may I come in?"
Professor Herrick turned his head.
"Come in, Richard," he said; "come in, by all means." And Amory entered
and advanced toward them.
The slight depression of manner Tredennis had fancied he had seen in him
on the last two occasions of their meeting had disappeared altogether.
He seemed even in gayer spirits than usual.
"I have come to tell you," he said to the professor, "that I am going
away for a short time. It is a matter of business connected with the
Westoria lands. I may be away a week or two."
"Isn't it rather a long journey?" asked the professor.
"Oh, yes," he replied, with no air of being daunted by the
prospect,--"and a tiresome one, but it is important that I should make
it, and I shall not be alone."
"Who is to be your companion?"
"Planefield--and he's rather an entertaining fellow, in his
way--Planefield. Oh, it won't be so bad, on the whole."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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