Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
Science
Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
I sat beside Mom, my mouth poised in the shape of a horrendous yawn and
began to see the humor in my predicament. Open mouthed, it was
impossible to smile, but my eyes began to glisten and I let go of a
gutteral "haw...haw...haw." I must look like "Surprise," impersonated,
I thought, my amusement gaining momentum.
Another nurse stuck her head inside the room. Mom glanced at her and
she too, sped away. Mom grew angry; no one helped, they just came to
see the spectacle. I was a side-show and could almost hear them
talking excitedly among themselves... "Boy, that hit and run was sure
gruesome, wasn't it?" "Yeh, but did you get a load of that kid in 2C?"
"Ha Ha Ha Ha." So far most of the "peepers" only saw my profile.
"Hey, Mom," I said, throwing the words carefully, "The next time
someone comes to the door to look, how'bout if I give 'em a full
frontal view?" She turned to look at me as my yawn slowly relaxed to
facilitate yet another position.
This time my mouth puckered to form a tight "O." I looked at Mom whose
worry was finally overruled by humor, and she burst out laughing. "I'm
sorry," she said, "but you look so funny..." I didn't mind, for I was
laughing heartily now, issuing strange "hoo hoo hoos" into the room
through my tunneled lips. "Here we are," I thought, "laughing like
lunatics, when I might have Lockjaw!" The doctors, however, didn't
appear to be concerned, for there was still no word or antidote, and an
hour or more had elapsed. All I desired was an ounce of relief; my jaw
was incredibly sore from the forced contractions, and a pain pill would
have brought immense satisfaction, yet I could merely wait, and try to
relax.
Finally after countless repetitions of rights, lefts, ooohs and ahhhs,
a doctor strolled in the room with a red liquid. I had, by then, given
up my idea that I had contracted lockjaw and looked hopefully toward
the man as he approached. The contractions had slowed in frequency as
the hours passed, yet my mind still begged for relief.
"Well, we finally figured out that your muscle spasms were the result
of the anti-nausea drug that had been administered to you; drink this
and I'm sure you will not have any more problems... just don't let
them give you any more of those shots!"
I took the red liquid and drank it down; it burned like fire. I
thought of my stomach, hoping that my draught would not infuriate it to
the point of plotting a revolt; I had been lucky through the afternoon,
having experienced no symptoms of nausea during the facial contortions.
Reflecting upon this favorable aspect, I realized the hours could have
proven much worse, and was relieved that I had ignored my stomach's
plea for breakfast.
The following morning I departed for Curie with an aching jaw; it was
minutely reminiscent of the feeling I would acquire after chewing a
large wad of bubble gum.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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