Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
Science
Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
Once Norm had finalized his basic dreams in the material sense,
however, it grew obvious that the inner rebuilding which still clamored
for completion could not be done alone. He was the sole spark of life
in a house from which the cobwebs of deceit could never be wiped. But
for an attic full of worn out memories, his was an empty house.
Houses, of themselves, do not indenture the heart; thus, without regret
or apology, Norm came home.
January was the coldest it had been in years, or so it seemed. To
brighten the blustery evening, Norm had invited me to share a pizza
with him at his house. I gladly accepted the invitation and spent
several pleasant hours staring at a lively fire and talking.
I departed feeling very content, never suspecting his oppressive
loneliness. Norm had concealed it from everyone, and it came as
somewhat of a surprise to see him standing at the door so soon after
saying good-night; loneliness pooled in his eyes and I realized it had
filtered deeper than any cursory glance could have perceived.
Personally, I was elated at the prospect of sharing the upstairs with
my brother, especially if living at home was what he truly wished.
Several years earlier the arrangement would not have succeeded; then he
sought to free himself from the constraints of youth through
establishing his own credibility as a functioning part of society. Now
he had tasted life's offerings, the sweet and the bitter, and knew that
he could alter his happiness through certain changes on his part.
Loneliness was one pain which he had the power to alleviate; his return
was a matter of choice, not defeat, and with a clear conscience
regarding his desire, pursued his intent. After assuring his welcome,
he and I drove to his house so he could secure a parcel of clothing and
other necessities for the night.
As one household began to dissolve, the family home eagerly digested
the other's former occupant and his belongings. It took several months
for Norm's house and major furnishings to be sold, but those objects
that he wished to retain were loaded unceremoniously into sacks and
stashed in the attic or placed hastily about various parts of the
house. A microwave found its station on the basement counter, and
shelving provided a haven for his stereo equipment. A handsome
recliner stole a living room corner and became known as NORM'S CHAIR;
if he entered the room to find HIS CHAIR occupied, he didn't quite know
where to sit. It became evident that this home was his home and, with
an ample dose of personal interaction and companionship, the emotional
wounds had begun to heal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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