Although, toward the last portion of her life, the wife was mentally incompetent concerning her nasty behavior, she would have been capable of changing her actions earlier in life, yet, through a jealous and self-centered need, she obtained a constant awareness of her presence by lamenting any flaw in her well being. The husband may have enjoyed the initial pampering as a means of elevating his feeling of self-worth; here was a woman who needed him. However, as any excess can be overwhelming, her preoccupation for comfort was his final undoing. Had she thought less of herself and allowed him the freedom to breathe, the obsessive guilt she strove to plant would never have taken root in his mind. It is essential that the patient allows his family to continue in a "normal" fashion, for it must be accepted that there will be a time when life must carry on without the sick individual. This is not to say that a husband should start to seek another mate before his wife meets her demise; behavior of this nature is cruel and, I believe, says that his wife was not loved but only needed for the beneficial comforts she could provide. However, continuing attendance in a church, or meeting with friends should in no way be thought of as frivolous or forgetful of the sick, but rather as a form of therapy for the living. I wanted my family to continue its current lifestyle, and for the most part, that was no problem. However, Mom continued to feel guilty about her health and ability to do anything she desired while her young daughter was forced to stay home. As my cancer progressed and I did less in the social realm, spending week-end nights at home, my mother became concerned about leaving me alone when they went on a small excursion or nighttime gatherings; she worried that I might be lonesome or scared, or need help of some kind. It was somewhat of a chore to assure her that I would be fine; should I be scared or lonesome, it would pass, and with regard to my health, she would be powerless to aid in my comfort even if she was at home. As a final effort I confessed that I truly enjoyed being alone sometimes. I too needed room to breathe, to feel that, even with my severe limitations, I was yet in control of my life. It was important that I knew I could take care of myself if the need would arise. Guilt may derive from actual wrong-doing on the part of the guilt-ridden as well as the causes described above. Whether spurred from emotional neglect, mental abuse, infidelity, or another source, this guilt is the only type which I feel is worthy of its keeper. When an individual knowingly hurts another, yet makes no attempt to correct himself, the former deserves to feel the grasp of pain. No apology, no matter how magnificent, can take the place of past injustice. Therefore, while the past is history, perhaps these regrets can best be handled by a silent oath to behave differently on future occasions.