Another reaction to this decision-making effort may be fury, with the patient recklessly attacking the relative's "good intentions." Although anger is justifiable in such situations wherein the patient's desires were completely overlooked, I feel that wrath is punishment more harsh than the over-wrought relative merits. One might argue that if the relative truly had the patient's well-being in mind, he would have inquired into his wishes before enacting his own. Though basically true the argument cannot stand alone without also expressing the necessity for the patient to accept the chaotic mental states possessed by his relatives as a natural reaction to their own sorrow. Anger demeans its subject's need to retain hope, whereas a thoughtful explanation will yield a greater understanding of the entire situation as faced by all those concerned. Because I value the ability to choose the routes which I wish my life to follow, I have similarly felt it is only fair to allow others that freedom as well; while I may have voiced an opinion toward a subject concerning someone other than myself, I would never feel it was acceptable behavior for me to take any action toward the fulfillment of that opinion. My oldest brother was different from myself in this regard, as the following story will demonstrate. Often Todd would take issues into his own hands, apparently feeling that his way was undoubtedly THE way. It was virtually impossible to illustrate another viewpoint. Consequently when I received the diagnosis that I had cancer once again, the dark cloud which fell over the family receded somewhat after my resolution to forgo chemotherapy, yet Todd, who lived some distance away from the immediate family, was unfortunately less informed as to my generally good state of health at the present time and proceeded to think only of my rapid demise. Telephones, unhappily, cannot relate the entire picture of one's health; had he been able to actually see for himself that I was not fading away with each passing moment, I'm sure the turn of events would have been different. As it was, however, he decided we were not preparing ourselves for the onslaught of my disease, and unbeknownst to us, made an appointment for us to speak with the director of the "family hospice" service at the local hospital. On Thanksgiving weekend everyone came home. I was in immensely good spirits, as I felt so very fortunate to be out of the hospital and with those I loved. Moreover, I was happy with my decisions and glad to feel physically well so soon after the exploratory surgery; I knew my health would not decline before the holidays, and in this I found contentment.