All through their life together, until her quiet end, the man thought only of securing enjoyment for himself. When he felt his well-being was in danger, he sought only to maintain his happiness, which had little to do with the welfare of his dying wife. This was apparent in his total lack of empathy regarding her wishes, and the merciless ignorance of her speechless plea. It is difficult for me to believe that such selfish persons exist, for I hope the vast majority of people will conquer their selfish tendencies in order to facilitate the desires of their loved one, even if it shall mean a more rapid decline in health. It is important to realize that only the patient suffers bodily pain; it is ultimately he who must undergo the treatment, which could in fact, significantly alter his overall comfort. For these combined reasons, I feel it is fair to allow a mentally intact individual to decide how his remaining days shall he spent; this is why open conversation among family members is of such great consequence. When the illness prevents further decisions on the part of the patient, it is then up to the family to respect his previously stated wishes and, should further decisions need to be made beyond those which had been specified, strive to make new options benefit the patient's comfort. Above all else, kindness should prevail and guide in the solutions to any questions which might occur concerning the patient's death. A patient should not be made to suffer through a lack of acceptance on the part of the family; behavior of this sort not only uses the dying, it overtly abuses them. PAGE 230 Chapter 28 Christmas 1981 CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT Christmas 1981 I had always loved Christmas, but it was special that year. Like all else in my life Christmas had not actually changed; the lights were no brighter, and the first snow was just as brilliant. However, I realized that the holiday could easily be my last, and I wanted my final memories to be vivid. To make the most of the day, preparations were always begun directly after Thanksgiving. The Indian corn was packed away and the Christmas decorations took their place, transforming the house into an inescapable reminder of love and happiness. Each ornament, given to me by Mom for my own future tree, I unwrapped with care, wooden men, mice with glasses, corn husk dolls... they added life to a sapless tree. Cookie baking commenced following Thanksgiving also, and continued sporadically up to the 23rd of December. Because Mom was engaged with her kindergarteners, I often baked the bulk of the cookies during the season. Dad and Norm also appreciated my endeavor, but for reasons unrelated to Mom's.