Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
Science
Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
I rested briefly in the motel room and then we decided to drive around
Rochester so I could see for myself some of the places Dad had visited
on his afternoon strolls. Many of the streets were lovely, bordered
with trees which grew from scrupulously trimmed lawns. The houses
behind the green lawns and sculptured shrubs loomed with magnificence
and grandeur; some displayed vast entry-ways while others boasted fine
masonry and stonework. I had little doubt but that these were the
homes of surgeons, businessmen and prominent city personnel. The
outward appearance of the homes showed nothing but orderliness and
tranquility, yet for all of the pervasive greenery, the scene lacked a
sense of life; no one peered through the windows, no boy clad in
cut-off jeans mowed the grass, no children played on the
clean-swept-steps, nothing moved but the trees in the wind. I
reflected on the sight dismally. Perhaps it was considered improper to
be "seen" outdoors; I lamented the plight of some people, for whom
natural beauty seemed not a thing to be enjoyed, but merely a device by
which one's wealth could be measured, something tangible, something
which could be had. I had once heard that through riches one might be
free; yet that which I saw in these streets was bondage of the most
pitiable sort, for it was entirely self-imposed. Restrictions and
social codes made by and for the elite were gladly followed, and those
who bent under their weight, stooped willingly. Conformity can
eventually overshadow the individual, rendering his former joys
meaningless, if he desires to exist amid prefabricated expectations as
determined by status rather than true values. Such are the hazards of
social living; personally, however, I would rather sit on my front
steps and wave at passersby.
Then I remembered; it was noon, a September weekday. . . the children
were in school, the parents at work, and youngsters were most likely
receiving their lunch. It was I who was an alien spectacle, not the
streets through which we were driving; had it not been for my
hospitalization, I, too, would have been seated amongst a classroom of
students, and Dad at work. Again I mused over the beautiful sights.
Maybe I had simply come at the wrong time; every street can seem
deserted. I hoped that these lawns were loved as I loved my own.
We roved about the city, finally stopping at an outdoor mall which
extended far beyond my ability to traverse. Dad and I entered only
several shops which contained the novelty items that had served as my
daily surprises while residing in the hospital. I tired easily,
however, so we found our way to the motel once more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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