George stood uneasily on the landing, halfway up the stair. The house
seemed over-populated. Upstairs was a regular dormitory, he thought
angrily: all down the long passage he could hear the stealthy movement
of people going to bed: doors opening cautiously, reconnoiterings
to see whether the bathroom trail was clear. And the ground floor
was worse: Joyce in the sitting room filled the whole place with her
presence. He could not stay in the hall, the dining room, or the
porch, without being in sight or hearing of her sanctuary. Against his
will he lingered on the thought of her there, the small ugly chamber
transfigured by her intimacy. Even the dull brown wood of the door
was different now, it thrilled him with unbearable meaning, his mind
pierced through it and saw her loveliness--perhaps tormented like
himself with farcical horrors. It was unbearable to think of her going
away into the dark nothing of these empty hours, uncomforted. Why
couldn’t he go and tuck her in like one of the children? She seemed
to him just that, a frightened child who had somehow crept into his
arms. She was there, divided from him only by that senseless panel.
He imagined her prostrate on the couch in a quiver of silent tears;
she, exquisite, made for delight, whose pitiful reality had shaken his
solid, well-carpentered life into this crazy totter.
My God, he reflected, I thought I had got beyond this sort of thing.
There was a creak at the stair head; he saw her above him, shadowy
against the bay window. In her translucent wrap she was delicately
sketched in cloudy brightness, young and firm of outline. So the door
had been mocking him. With a twinge of self-disgust he shrank, stumbled
down the stairs, tiptoed out and took refuge at the far end of the
garden.
A splinter of light drew him to the table under the pine trees. The jug
and glasses, left there since lunch time; mutely pathetic, as forgotten
things always are. There was still a heeltap of tea in one of the
tumblers, he drank it and found it sirupy with sugar. It’s a mistake,
he thought, to eat sweet things late at night: they turn to sour in the
morning. Night is the time for something bitter.
In the house, yellow squares flashed on and off. Downstairs, he
could see Joyce’s shadow against the blind. At the other end of the
building, in the gable, the spare-room window went dark. Martin had
slipped off to bed rather oddly after their game. In the embarrassment
of Joyce’s momentary dizziness he had simply gone, without a word.
George found himself thinking that much of the evening’s difficulty was
due to this bumpkin stranger. He was probably well-meaning, but either
with his idiotic pleasantries or a silent smirk of censure he had a
gift for blighting things. There was nothing about him that you could
put precise finger on, but he had a way of making one feel guilty. How
queerly, too, he had looked at Joyce.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account