"LOSS OF A BRITISH STEAMER. _Only one survivor._--The S.S.
_Eaglet_, concerning the fate of which so many rumours have been
rife of late, is now known to have gone on the rocks off Ushant,
and to have become a total wreck. The fate of the vessel would
probably never have been known, but for the fact that a sailor
was washed ashore, and after being tended by the good people
there, was able to give some particulars as to the wreck. It
appears that the vessel went on the rocks in one of those dense
fogs peculiar to that coast, and broke up within a very few
minutes. There is not the slightest doubt that this sailor,
whose name is given as Henry Howard, is the sole survivor of the
ill-fated vessel. It may be mentioned that among the passengers
was a young gentleman of fortune--a Mr. Murray Olivant--who was
travelling to the Mediterranean on a pleasure cruise."
I sat with the soiled paper in my hands; I read so much more into the
paragraph than any one else could have done. The real Murray Olivant lay
in that pauper's grave beside which I had stood, and yet was buried as a
man unknown; and here he was proclaimed as having been lost in the wreck
of the vessel on which he was supposed to have sailed. More than that;
for the hungry sea had claimed as a victim that man Jervis Fanshawe of
the haunted eyes, who had killed him, and had gone on that voyage in his
place. Justice has a long arm.
My memories after that are confused; I think I must have suffered
greatly during that winter, when I was alone and friendless in London.
In my recollections of that time there is always a great roar and rush
of traffic in my ears, and I seem always to be standing in the rain, or
with the bitter wind ruffling my garments; at other times I am crouching
over fires in small lodging houses, in the company of other forlorn
wretches--outcasts like myself. I am always hungry, and I do not seem to
understand what reason I have for living at all. And I find myself, like
some uneasy ghost that has been forgotten, wandering about old familiar
places, and going over again scenes that only I remember, and that
belong only to the past.
I find myself again in Lincoln's Inn Fields--unable now to remember
clearly where a certain Gavin Hockley is--or whether I killed him, or
someone else; wondering vaguely what he had to do with a certain Murray
Olivant who died long ago--or was he drowned at sea? I find myself--an
old man, with the rain beating upon me, and the wind driving at
me--sitting on the steps of a house in Lincoln's Inn Fields, and
wondering if I dare climb the stairs, to find what is hidden behind a
locked door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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