I sat down on a heap of stones near the gates of the prison, with my
mind full of the bitter injustice of the thing. If I had been in my cell
now, I should have been eating my poor breakfast--comfortably! I should
have known what the day held for me. And here I was--an outcast, and
tired already before the day was begun.
The mere fact of wearing civilized clothing again, however coarse and
common it might be, had brought back to my remembrance something of what
I had been--some faint ghostly shadow of it. I found myself looking at
my coarse hands, and at the broken stunted nails, and striving to
remember what those hands had been like ever so many years ago when I
was a boy. Then, as a shadow fell across me, I realized that I had been
sitting musing for some time; and looked up from the hands, to see a man
standing in front of me.
He was a tall man, very thin, and not at all well dressed. He had a long
thin nose with wide nostrils, and a short beard that was black at the
roots and grey elsewhere. He stood with his hands clasped before him,
and with the cold white fingers turning incessantly over each other. I
wondered in a dull fashion where he had come from; but as he did not
greatly interest me, I went on again looking at my hands. Then he spoke
my name.
"Charles Avaline," he said, in a curious jerky voice that was only
raised a little above a whisper.
I looked up at him, as I might have looked up any time during those
twenty years at a warder, and spoke my number. It had been the natural
thing to do with every one. "No. 145," I said, in a dull voice.
The man laughed in a disagreeable fashion as I dropped my eyes again
from his face. "Poor broken devil!" he muttered to himself, and then
spoke my name again. "Avaline--Charles Avaline. I don't want your
number."
"They never wanted my name in there," I said, jerking my head towards
the great gates of the prison. "It was always 145. But I'm Charles
Avaline," I added.
He dropped his hand on my shoulder, and shook me--pulled me to my feet,
in fact. "What are you sitting here for?" he demanded. "Don't you know
you're free? Aren't you glad to be free?"
"What's the use?" I asked, with a shake of the head. "Don't you know I'm
dead--dead to everybody? I've been in there"--I nodded at the prison
with a queer sort of pride at the thought--"I've been in there twenty
years."
"And might have been there another twenty, or another forty, or more
than that, if you'd lived so long," he retorted. "They seem to have
driven the brains out of you--what few you ever had. Look at me; have
you ever seen me before?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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