His nights were sleepless, but dreams moved nakedly and boldly round
him. Albano readily devoted to him his own well nights, yet could not
drive away any of his friend's dreams, those spectres which generally
flee or sink before the living. They crept and peeped about in the
shadows of the corners of the room. Once toward midnight Albano had
gone out, and on returning found him just in the act of grasping one
hand with the other, and exclaiming, "Whom have I here, man?" "O good,
best Schoppe," cried Albano, half in anger, "such irrational plays!
Quite as well might one finger catch the other!" "Yes, to be sure,"
replied he. "But listen," said he softly, and squatted, ducked his
head, and pointed with the right index-finger up over his nose into the
air, "thou calledst me Schoppe; that is not my name: but I may not
utter my real name; the 'I' who has been so long seeking me would hear
it, and come stalking along,--a long gravestone lies on the name.
Schoppe or _Scioppius_ I could very well call myself, because my
many-named namesake and name-father (it is all found in Bayle) called
himself, now so, now so, now Junipere d'Amone, now Denig Bargas, or
Grosippe, or Krigsöder, Sotelo, and now Hay. I must appear to have
wholly forgotten that the man was, after all, veritable Titular Prince
of Athens and Duke of Thebes by Ottoman chancery and grace, if I should
choose to remain Maltese Librarian. In fact, I used to go from one
hotel to another with many a name, which magnificently played with and
played upon the 'I,' that forever hunted and haunted me; for example,
Löwenskiould, Leibgeber, Graul, Schoppe, too, Mordian (which I
afterward gave my dog), Sacramentierer, and once _huleu_,--many I may
have entirely forgotten. The true one," said he, shyly whispering, "is
a ss or S--s,[142]--give me a _third_ hand here. The name is cut out of
grave-clothes, and I lie therein already buried in the ground. 'I am
I.' Such were the last words of the fine old Swift, who otherwise
said little in his long madness. I might not venture, however, to
be so much myself as that. Well, courage! Infinite Wisdom has created
all,--madness, too,--in the lump. Only God grant, that God may never
say to himself, 'I!' The universe would tremble to pieces, I believe;
for God finds no third hand."
Albano shuddered at the sense of this nonsense. Schoppe seemed ice;
then he threw himself suddenly on the brotherly bosom; neither said
aught upon the subject, and Albano began sunny descriptions of the
happy Hesperia.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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