England -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Impulse had always been a guiding factor in Robert Landon's life. If he
saw a thing and wanted it, impulse would prompt him to reach out his
hand and snatch it; if the thing were beyond his reach, he would
climb--if necessary--over the heart of his best friend to obtain it;
should it prove of very fragile substance and break in his hands, he
would throw it away, but its loss, or the possible harm he had inflicted
in his efforts to obtain it, brought no regrets. He made love
deliriously, on fire himself for the moment, but never once had he so
far forgot himself as to come from the flame in any way singed. Many
tragedies lay behind the man, for impulse is hardly a safe guide through
life; but he himself was essentially too level-headed, too selfish, to
be the one who suffered.
He had spoken and danced and made love to Joan on an impulse. Beyond
that, he set himself down seriously and painstakingly to win her. Most
women, he knew, like to be carried forward on the wings of a
swift-rushing desire, but there was some strange force of reserve behind
this girl's constant disregard of his real meaning in the game they
played. She was willing, almost anxious to be friends; it did not take
him long to find out how lonely and dreary had been the life she was
leading. She went out with him daily; it became a recognized thing for
him to fetch her in his small car every evening at office. Sometimes
they would dine together at one of the many little French restaurants in
Soho, and go to a theatre afterwards; sometimes they would just drive
about the crowded lighted streets, or slip into the Park for a stroll,
leaving the car in charge of some urchin for a couple of pennies. Since
he was out on the trail, as his friends would have said, every other
interest in his life was given up to his impulse to beat down this
girl's reserve, but all his attempts at passionate love-making left her
unresponsive. She would draw back, as it were, into her shell, and for
days she would avoid meeting him. Going out some back way at the office
and never being at home when he called at Montague Square. Then he would
write little notes to her and bribe the office-boy to deliver them,
begging her pardon most humbly--he played his cards, it may be noticed,
very seriously--imploring her to be friends again. And Joan would
forgive him and for a little they would be the best of companions.
But through it all, and though she shut her eyes more or less to the
trend of events, Joan's mind refused to be satisfied. She was restless
and at times unhappy; she had her hours of wondering where it would all
end, her spells of imagination when she saw Landon asking her to marry
him. When she thought about it at all it always ended like that, for she
could not blind her eyes to the fact of the man's love for her. Then she
would shun his society, and endeavour to build up a wall of reserve
between them, for it was her answer to his question that she could not
bring herself to face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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