"Soldier tired," put off thy shako; Prepare to fire, and burn tobacco. Workman, prize thine honest labor; Burn thy weed, and love thy neighbor! Evil-doers, when ye burn The weed; think how soon 'twill be your turn. Artist, let thy "coloring" be Of a pipe; thy "drawing," free! Miser, moderate thy greed! Mend thy life, and take a weed. Lawyer, loose thy bitter gripe! Burn thy writ--to light a pipe. Statesman, harassed night and day, Blow a cloud; puff care away! Hardy tiller of the soil! Light a pipe; 'twill lighten toil. Usurer, we surely know Thou wilt have thy _quid pro quo_. Merchant, smoke thy pipe; hang care! Draughts are always honored there. Gentle friend, whom troubles fret! Smoke a soothing cigarette. Preacher! take a pinch with me: Snuff is dust, and so are we. Hence with moralizings musty! I say life is "not so dusty." Smoke in gladness; smoke in trouble; Soothe the last, the former double! Teach the Fiji Indians, then, To chew their quids, instead of men. Pain from heart and brain to wipe, Pass the weed, and fill your pipe! Prince and peasant, lord and lackey, All in some form take their 'Baccy. [Illustration: Lord and lackey.] The evil effects occasioned by man's indulging too frequently in tobacco have been the subject of many a fierce debate between the friends and foes of the "great plant." Many, however, are not aware of the fatality attending its use by the brute creation. A modern English poet on hearing of the result produced on a cow from chewing tobacco, penned the following sad lines which he entitles--"An elegy on somebody's Cow." Weep! weep, ye chewers! Lowly bend, and bow; Here lieth what was once a happy cow. No more her voice she'll raise, now low, now high, In amber fields, beneath an autumn sky; No more she'll wander to the milking-pail, While swine stand by to see her chew "pig-tail;" No more round her the bees, a busy crew, Shall linger, eager after "honey-dew;" No more for her shall smoking grains be spread: All bellowless remains her empty shed. Sad was her fate. Reflect, all ye who read: Life's flower destroyed by the accursed weed. When first the yellow juice streamed o'er her lip, One might have said, "This is a sad cow-slip." To chew the peaceful cud by nature bid, Degraded man taught her to chew a quid. Sad the effect on body and on mind: Her coat grew "shaggy," her milk nicotined; Over her head shall naught but clover grow, While o'er her peaceful grave the clouds shall blow.