Tokyo to Tijuana: Gabriele Departing AmericaSills, Steven David Justin
General
Tokyo to Tijuana: Gabriele Departing America
Sills, Steven David Justin
Fiction
He cracked a smile bashfully despite himself. "Betty's cooking."
She wanted to say, "True she likes frijoles, jalape-os and the like, and the
boys like Mexican food too" but her pain trod into the breath of the utterance
like children kicking puddles. She was doing her best to put on an agreeable
facade--that appealing facade of the bantering bourgeois in the levity, the
amusement park, that was supposed to be the world-- but it was hard. It was too
hard.
"Why are you just lying around?" he asked critically.
"Just resting," she lied. She frowned. His repudiation of her sickness, as not
all that different than the attempts at malingering by former pupils whom he
had beaten with his board, irritated her; and yet she doubted herself. How did
she know what he thought? How did she know that he believed that her
malingering was synonymous to theirs and had disdain for both? She did not know
anything. It was speculation. It was discerning a mood and then devising
fiction around it. But then, how did she know that she didn't know what he
thought he knew? "I'll paint later. I am just thinking what to paint on" she
lied again to test his reaction toward her proposed return to herself.
"You should wash that dog--both of them."
"What time is it now?"
"3:30"
"You hardly ever get back here until eight."
He went into the bathroom where he began to brush his teeth. The toothbrush
muddled the cohesion of his words. "I'm in between meetings. While I was
driving I spilled some coffee and then some ketchup from my hamburger. I need
to change jackets so can you take the one I have on to the cleaners?" Water
came down the faucet but it was a parsimonious dribble. She thought to herself
that rich people were so stingy about the damnedest of things. She could not
hear any water but she did hear him spit into the basin. With a toothbrush
still in his mouth he glanced into the bedroom. "Are you unhappy with
something?"
"No," she said.
"These headaches again?" His disdainful tone had the sotto voce of exasperation
as if she were the pesky fly who should be shooed away.
"Fuck, don't say it that way. It isn't psychosomatic."
"What did you say?"
"The headaches aren't psychosomatic."
"You need to watch that mouth," he said sternly. He rinsed his mouth and spat.
Then to soften his austerity he added, "Remember there's a bottle of Ivory Soap
in here to wash out your mouth. You know, if there weren't two imitative boys
to consider I wouldn't really mind all that much a slip here and there. As you
have pointed out a bunch of times guys get enthusiastic at ball games and say
things they shouldn't say. I've been one of those guys. Fine, I can buy that;
and you are kind of right--the love and hate in the tone of voice matter more."
He turned off the faucet and came into the bedroom with the stained suit jacket
on a hanger. "Look over here. I'm putting the jacket on the chair. Make sure
that you take it this afternoon so that you can get it tomorrow morning."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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