No one save he who has experienced it can form any just idea of the
intense hold a career of any kind will take of the mind of him who,
without the ties of country, of kindred, and of friends, devotes all
his energies in one direction. The affections that might, under other
influences, have grown up,--the hopes that might have flourished in the
happy sphere of a home,--become the springs of a more daring ambition.
In proportion as he deserts other roads in life, the path he has struck
out for himself seems wider and grander, and his far-seeing eye enables
him to look into the long distance with a prophetic vision, where are
rewards for his hard won victories, the recompense of long years of
toil. The pursuit, become a passion, gradually draws all into its
vortex; and that success which at first he believed only attainable by
some one mighty effort, seems at last to demand every energy of his life
and every moment of his existence: and as the miser would deem his ruin
near should the most trifling opportunity of gain escape him, so
does the ambitious man feel that every incident in life must be made
tributary to the success which is his mammon. It was thus I thought of
the profession of arms: my whole soul was in it; no other wish, no other
hope, divided my heart; that passion reigned there alone. How often do
we find it in life that the means become the end,--that the effort we
employ to reach an object takes hold upon our fancy, gains hourly upon
our affections, and at length usurps the place of what before had been
our idol? As a boy, liberty, the bold assertion of my country's rights,
stirred my heart, and made me wish to be a soldier. As years rolled on,
the warlike passion sank deeper and deeper in my nature,--the thirst for
glory grew upon me; and forgetting all save that, I longed for the time
when on the battle-field I should win my name to fame and honor.
In this wise were my musings, as I loitered homeward and entered my
quarters. A sealed packet, addressed Sous-Lieutenant Burke,--how that
humble title made my heart beat!--lay on my table. Supposing it referred
to my new appointment, I sat down to con it over at my leisure; but no
sooner had I torn open the envelope than a card fell to the ground. I
took it up hastily, and read,--“D'après l'ordre de Madame Bonaparte,
j'ai l'honneur de vous inviter à une soirée--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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