Though I had not participated in the festivities of the château, nor
even been noticed by any of the guests, the absence of its gay world,
the glitter of its brilliant cortege, the neighing steeds in all their
bright panoply, the clank of military music, the gorgeously dressed
ladies who strolled along its terraced walks, made the solitude that
followed appear dark and desolate indeed; and now, as I walked the
park, whose avenues at noonday were silent as at midnight, the desertion
imparted a melancholy feeling to my heart I could not explain. How often
had I stopped beneath that balcony, striving to distinguish the soft
tones of one gentle voice amid the buzz of conversation! How had I
watched the crowded promenade every evening upon the terrace, to see one
figure there among the rest! and when my eye had fallen upon her, how
has it followed and traced her as she went! And now I frequented each
spot where I had ever seen her,--pacing at sunset the very walk she used
to take, dwelling on each word she ever spoke to me. The château, too,
of which before I had not passed the door, I now revisited again and
again, lingering in each room where I thought she had been, and even
resting on the chairs, and calling up before me her image as though
present.
Thus passed over weeks and months. The summer glided into the mellow
autumn, and the autumn itself grew cold and chill, with grayish skies
and sighing winds that swept the leaves along the dark walks and moaned
sadly among the tall beech-trees. The still, calm waters of the little
lake, that reflected the bright foliage and the deep blue sky motionless
as in a mirror, was now ruffled by the passing breeze, and surged with a
low, sad sound against its rocky sides; and as I watched these changes,
I sorrowed less for the departing season than that every trace of her
I loved was fading from before me. The bare and skeleton branches now
threw their gaunt shadows where I had seen her walk at noonday enveloped
in deep shade. Dark, watery clouds were hurrying across the surface of
the stream where I had seen her fair form mirrored. The cold winds
of coming winter swept along the princely terrace where not a zephyr
rustled her dress as she moved. And somehow, I could not help connecting
these changes with my own sensations, and feeling that a gloomy winter
was approaching to my own most cherished hopes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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