“My only fear in intrusting my poor sister in such hands was the dire
stupidity of the _séjour_; but as I bid her goodby, I said, laughingly,
'Prenez garde, Marie, don't fall in love with Claude de Lauzan.'
“'Poor Claude!' said she, bursting into a fit of laughter; 'what a sad
affair that would be for him!' So saying, we parted.
“I made the campaign of Italy, where, as I have perhaps too often told
you, I had some opportunities of distinguishing myself, and was promoted
to a squadron on the field of Arcole. Great as my boyish exultation
was at my success, I believe its highest pleasure arose from the
anticipation of Marie's delight when she received my letter with
the news. I wrote to her nearly every week, and heard from her as
frequently. At the time I did not mark, as I have since done, the
altered tone of her letters to me: how, gradually, the high ambitious
daring that animated her early answers became tamed down into half
regretful fears of a soldier's career; her sorrows for those whose
conquered countries were laid waste by fire and sword; her implied
censure of a war whose injustice she more than hinted at; and, lastly,
her avowed preference for those peaceful paths in life that were devoted
to the happiness of one's fellows, and the worship of Him who deserved
all our affection. I did not mark, I say, this change,--the bustle of
the camp, the din of arms, the crash of mounted squadrons, are poor aids
to reflection, and I thought of Marie but as I left her.
“It was after a few months of absence I returned to Provence,--the
_croix d'honneur_ on my bosom, the sabre I won at Lodi by my side. I
rushed into the room bursting with impatience to clasp my sister in my
arms, and burning to tell her all my deeds and all my dangers. She met
me with her old affection; but how altered in its form! Her gay and
girlish lightness, the very soul of buoyant pleasure, was gone; and in
its place a mild, sad smile played upon her lip, and a deep, thoughtful
look was in her dark brown eye. She looked not less beautiful,--no, far
from it; her loveliness was increased tenfold. But the disappointment
smote heavily on my heart. I looked about me like one seeking for
some explanation; and there stood Claude--pale, still, and
motionless--before me: the very look she wore reflected in his calm
features; her very smile was on his lips. In an instant the whole truth
flashed across me: she loved him.
“There are thoughts which rend us, as lightning does the rock, opening
new surfaces that lay hid since the Creation, and tearing our fast-knit
sympathies asunder like the rent granite: mine was such. From that hour
I hated him; the very virtues that had, under happier circumstances,
made us like brothers, but added fuel to the flame. My rival, he had
robbed me of my sister;--he had left me without that one great prize
I owned on earth; and all that I had dared and won seemed poor, and
barren, and worthless, since she no longer valued it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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