“Hillo!” quoth the Don. On this hint, like men springing a mine, the
last who leave the sap, we sprang into the street, when the skipper
turned, and taking aim with a large custard apple which he had armed
himself with (I have formerly described this fruit as resembling a
russet bag of cold pudding), he let fly. Spin flew the apple--bash on
the blackamoor’s obtuse snout. He started back, and in his terror and
astonishment threw a somersault over the back of his chair--gush poured
the water--smash fell the pipkin--“murder” roared Bang, dashing off the
poultice--cast, with such fury that it lighted in the street--and away
we raced at the top of our speed.
We ran as fast as our legs could carry us for two hundred yards, and
then turning, walked deliberately home again, as if we had been out
taking a walk in the cool morning air.
As we approached, we heard the yells of a negro, and Bang high in oath.
“You black rascal, nothing must serve your turn but practising your John
Canoe tricks upon a gentleman--take that, you villain, as a small
recompense for floating me out of my bed--or rather off the table,” and
the ludicrousness of his couch seemed to come over the worthy fellow
once more, and he laughed loud and long--“Poor devil, I hope I have not
hurt you? here, Quashi, there’s a pistole, go buy a plaster for your
broken pate.”
By this we had returned in front of the house, and as we ascended the
front stairs, we again heard a loud racketing within; but blackie’s
voice was now wanting in the row, wherein the Spaniard and our friend
appeared to be the dramatis personae--and sure enough there was Don
Ricardo and Bang at it, tooth and nail.
“Allow me to assist you,” quoth the Don.
“Oh no--mucho--mucho,” quoth Bang, who was spinning round and round in
his shirt on one leg, trying to thrust his foot into his trowsers; but
the garment was impervious; and after emulating Noblet in a pirouette,
he sat down in despair. We appeared--“Ah, Transom, glad to see you
some evil spirit has bewitched me, I believe--overnight I was stung to
death by a scorpion--half an hour ago I was deluged by an invisible
spirit--and just now when I got up, and began to pull on my stockings,
Lord! a land crab was in the toe part, and see how he has scarified me”
forking up his peg--“I then tried my trowsers,” he continued in a most
doleful tone--“and lo! the legs are sealed. And look at my face, saw
you ever such an unfortunate? But the devil take you, Transom, I see
through your tricks now, and will pay you off for this yet, take my word
for it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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