After it ceased they were still. It was plain that the woman was
ashamed, disillusioned, conscious that she had been made a butt of;
and that, in spite of all appearances to the contrary, she was still
among the hopeless, the outcast, the condemned. She glanced furtively
towards the companion of her shame; then more quickly still away from
him, as if realising only too well that, in that quarter, there was no
promise of hope rekindled. And she said, with choking utterance:
"Tom, I never thought--you'd laugh at me. Did you bring--me home--for
this?"
She put up her hands, in their dreadful gloves, to her raddled,
shrunken face, and stood, for a moment, still. Then her frame began to
quiver, and she cried; and as she cried there came that laugh again.
The note of mockery that was in it served to sting Ballingall into an
assertion of such manhood as was in him. He clenched his fists, drew
himself straighter, and, throwing back his head, faced towards where
the laughter seemed to stand.
"Tom," he said, "I've used you ill. We've both of us used you ill,
both she and I--she's been as false a wife to you as I've been friend.
Our sins have been many--black as ink, bitter as gall. We know it,
both of us. We've had reason to know it well. But, Tom, consider what
our punishment has been. Look at us--at her, at me. Think of what we
were, and what we are. Remember what it means to have come to this
from that. Every form of suffering I do believe we've known--of mind
and of body too--she in her way, and I in mine. We've been sinking
lower and lower and lower, through every form of degradation,
privation, misery, until at last we're in the ditch--amidst the slime
of the outer ditch. We've lost all that there is worth having, so far
as life's concerned, for ever. The only hope that is left us is the
hour in which it is appointed that we shall die. For my part, my hope
is that for me that hour is not far off. And, as I'm a living man, I
believe that for her it has already come; that the scythe is raised to
reap; that she's dying where she stands. Have you no bowels of
compassion, Tom--none? You used to have. Are they all dried and
withered? There's forgiveness for sinners, Tom, with God; is there
none with you? You used to be of those who forgive till seventy times
seven; are you now so unforgiving? You may spurn me, you may trample
on me, you may press my head down into the very slime of the ditch;
you know that these many months you've torn and racked me with all the
engines of the torture chambers: but she's your wife, Tom--she was
your wife! you loved her once! She bore to you a little child--a
little baby, Tom, a little baby! It's dead--with God, Tom, with God!
She's going to it now--now, now! While she's passing into the very
presence chamber, where her baby is, don't abase her, Tom. Don't, Tom,
don't!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account