Frontier and pioneer life -- Fiction; Miners -- Fiction; San Francisco (Calif.) -- Fiction; Singers -- Fiction
The door was ajar and she listened outside it. There was no sound from
within and no scent of cigar-smoke. She tapped softly and receiving no
answer pushed it open and peered fearfully in. The room was empty. The
man’s clothes were thrown about carelessly, his table littered with
papers and books. From the crevice of the opened window came the smell
and the sound of the rain, with a chill, bleak suggestion.
A sudden throttling sense of lonely helplessness overwhelmed her. She
stood looking blankly about, at the ashes of cigars in a china saucer,
at an old valise gaping open in a corner. The room seemed to her to
have a vacated air, and she remembered hearing Barron, a few days
before, speak of going to the mines again soon. Her mind leaped to the
conclusion that he had gone. Her hopes suddenly fell around her in
ruins, and in his looking-glass she saw a blanched face that she hardly
recognized as her own.
Stealing back to her room she sat down on the bed again. The house was
curiously quiet and in this silence her thoughts began once more to
revolve round the one topic. Then suddenly they broke into a burst of
rebellion. She could not bear it. She must go, somewhere, anywhere to
escape. She would flee away like a hunted animal and hide, creeping
into some dark distant place and cowering there. But where would she
go, and what would she do? The world outside seemed one vast menace
waiting to spring on her. If her head would stop aching and the fever
that burned her body and clouded her brain would cease for a moment,
she could think and come to some conclusion. But now--
And suddenly, as she thought, a whisper seemed to come to her, clear
and distinct like a revelation--“You have your voice!”
It lifted her to her feet. For a moment the pain and confusion of
developing illness left her, and she felt a thrill of returning energy.
She had it still, the one great gift neither enemies nor misfortune
could take from her--her voice!
The hope shook her out of the lethargy of fever, and her mind sprang
into excited action like a loosened spring. She went to her desk and
placed the gold back in its bag. The five hundred dollars that had
seemed so meaningless had now a use. It would take her away to Europe.
With the three hundred she still had in the bank, it would be enough
to take her to Paris and leave her something to live on. Money went a
long way over there, she had heard. She could study and sing and become
famous.
It all seemed suddenly possible, almost easy. Only leaving would be
hard--fearfully. She thought of the door up the passage and the voice
that in those first days of her feebleness had called a greeting to
her every morning; the man’s deep voice with its strong, cheery note.
And then like a peevish child, sick and unreasonable, she found herself
saying:
“Why does he leave me now when I want him so?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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