"I prefer the East End lad who does my errands in Bird Street," said the
Father. "I know all his worries. He knows some of mine. We are friends.
He's more noisy than your man. He even breathes hard when he is
specially solicitous, but he would do more for me than put the coals on
my fire, or black my square-toed boots."
"Men are differently made. To me the watchful eye of affection would be
abominable."
"What about that bird?"
The Father pointed to the parrot. It had got up on its perch and, with
one foot uplifted in an impressive, almost benedictory, manner, was
gazing steadily at the Professor.
"That's the watchful eye of imitation, with a mind at the back of it,
desirous of reproducing the peculiarities of others. No, I thought your
sermon to-night very fresh, very clever. But I have no wish for
affection. Reasonable liking, of course, one desires," he tugged sharply
at his beard, as if to warn himself against sentimentality,--"but
anything more would be most irksome, and would push me, I feel sure,
towards cruelty. It would also hamper one's work."
"I don't think so."
"The sort of work I do. I shall continue to benefit the world without
loving it, and it will continue to accept the benefits without loving
me. That's all as it should be."
He drank his coffee. Then he added, rather aggressively:
"I have neither time nor inclination for sentimentality."
When Guildea let Father Murchison out, he followed the Father on to the
doorstep and stood there for a moment. The Father glanced across the
damp road into the Park.
"I see you've got a gate just opposite you," he said idly.
"Yes. I often slip across for a stroll to clear my brain. Good-night to
you. Come again some day."
"With pleasure. Good-night."
The Priest strode away, leaving Guildea standing on the step.
Father Murchison came many times again to number one hundred Hyde Park
Place. He had a feeling of liking for most men and women whom he knew,
and of tenderness for all, whether he knew them or not, but he grew to
have a special sentiment towards Guildea. Strangely enough, it was a
sentiment of pity. He pitied this hard-working, eminently successful man
of big brain and bold heart, who never seemed depressed, who never
wanted assistance, who never complained of the twisted skein of life or
faltered in his progress along its way. The Father pitied Guildea, in
fact, because Guildea wanted so little. He had told him so, for the
intercourse of the two men, from the beginning, had been singularly
frank.
One evening, when they were talking together, the Father happened to
speak of one of the oddities of life, the fact that those who do not
want things often get them, while those who seek them vehemently are
disappointed in their search.
"Then I ought to have affection poured upon me," said Guildea, smiling
rather grimly. "For I hate it."
"Perhaps some day you will."
"I hope not, most sincerely."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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