Lily had gone a little pale. She looked across at Maurice.
"I don't know that I expected to hear bells, father," she said slowly.
As she said those words, Maurice Dale, for the first time, felt as if a
human being drew very near to his secret. Lily's glance at him asked him
a question. "What was it that pierced through the wind so faintly?" it
seemed to say.
"What then?" the Canon asked.
"I don't know," she replied.
Maurice got up.
"I must go now," he said.
The Canon protested. It was early. They must have one more smoke. But
Maurice could not be induced to stay. As he walked rapidly homeward in
the darkness he told himself again and again that he was a fool. How
could it be? How could she hear the cry? The cry of the child?
That night Lily did not read a French novel. She lay awake. Her fancy
was set on fire by the evening's talk. Her girlish imagination was
kindled. In those dark and silent hours she first began to weave a web
of romance round Maurice, to see him set in a cloud of looming tragedy.
He looked more beautiful to her in this cloud than he had looked before.
Lily thought it might be wicked, but somehow she could not help loving
mental suffering--in others. And the face of Maurice gazed at her in the
blackness beneath a shadowy crown of thorns.
Next day, at the early service, she was inattentive to the ministrations
of religion. Her father seemed a puppet at its prayers, the choir a row
of surpliced dolls, the organ an empty voice. Only at the end, when
silence fell on the kneeling worshippers, did she wake with a start of
contrition to the knowledge of her impiety, and blush between her little
hands at her concentration upon the suspected sorrow of the young
doctor. But in that night and that morning Lily ran forward towards
Maurice, set her feet upon the line that divides men from women. She
knew that she had done so only when she next encountered him. Then, as
their eyes met she was seized with a painful idea of guilt, bred by an
absurd feeling that he could see into her mind, and know how all her
thoughts had been crowding about him. It is a dangerous symptom that
sensation of one's mind being visible to another as a thing observed
through glass. Lily did not understand her danger, but she was full of a
turmoil of uneasiness. Maurice noticed it and felt conscious also, as if
some secret understanding existed between him and Lily, yet there was
none, there could be none.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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