England -- Fiction; Patent medicines -- Marketing -- Fiction; Pharmaceutical industry -- Fiction; Satire; Science fiction
“Think of the little clerks and jaded women and overworked people.
People overstrained with wanting to do, people overstrained with
wanting to be.... People, in fact, overstrained.... The real trouble of
life, Ponderevo, isn’t that we exist—that’s a vulgar error; the real
trouble is that we _don’t_ really exist and we want to. That’s what
this—in the highest sense—just stands for! The hunger to be—for
once—really alive—to the finger tips!...
“Nobody wants to do and be the things people are—nobody. YOU don’t want
to preside over this—this bottling; I don’t want to wear these beastly
clothes and be led about by you; nobody wants to keep on sticking
labels on silly bottles at so many farthings a gross. That isn’t
existing! That’s—sus—_substratum_. None of us want to be what we are,
or to do what we do. Except as a sort of basis. What do we want? _You_
know. _I_ know. Nobody confesses. What we all want to be is something
perpetually young and beautiful—young Joves—young Joves, Ponderevo”—his
voice became loud, harsh and declamatory—“pursuing coy half-willing
nymphs through everlasting forests.”...
There was a just-perceptible listening hang in the work about us.
“Come downstairs,” I interrupted, “we can talk better there.”
“I can talk better here,” he answered.
He was just going on, but fortunately the implacable face of Mrs.
Hampton Diggs appeared down the aisle of bottling machines.
“All right,” he said, “I’ll come.”
In the little sanctum below, my uncle was taking a digestive pause
after his lunch and by no means alert. His presence sent Ewart back to
the theme of modern commerce, over the excellent cigar my uncle gave
him. He behaved with the elaborate deference due to a business magnate
from an unknown man.
“What I was pointing out to your nephew, sir,” said Ewart, putting both
elbows on the table, “was the poetry of commerce. He doesn’t, you know,
seem to see it at all.”
My uncle nodded brightly. “Whad I tell ’im,” he said round his cigar.
“We are artists. You and I, sir, can talk, if you will permit me, as
one artist to another. It’s advertisement has—done it. Advertisement
has revolutionised trade and industry; it is going to revolutionise the
world. The old merchant used to tote about commodities; the new one
creates values. Doesn’t need to tote. He takes something that isn’t
worth anything—or something that isn’t particularly worth anything—and
he makes it worth something. He takes mustard that is just like anybody
else’s mustard, and he goes about saying, shouting, singing, chalking
on walls, writing inside people’s books, putting it everywhere,
‘Smith’s Mustard is the Best.’ And behold it is the best!”
“True,” said my uncle, chubbily and with a dreamy sense of mysticism;
“true!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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