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If I had not been so grim in spirit, I think I should have found much
of my wedding amusing. I remember a lot of ridiculous detail that still
declines to be funny in my memory. The officiating clergyman had a
cold, and turned his “n’s” to “d’s,” and he made the most mechanical
compliment conceivable about the bride’s age when the register was
signed. Every bride he had ever married had had it, one knew. And two
middle-aged spinsters, cousins of Marion’s and dressmakers at Barking,
stand out. They wore marvellously bright and gay blouses and dim old
skirts, and had an immense respect for Mr. Ramboat. They threw rice;
they brought a whole bag with them and gave handfuls away to unknown
little boys at the church door and so created a Lilliputian riot; and
one had meant to throw a slipper. It was a very warm old silk slipper,
I know, because she dropped it out of a pocket in the aisle—there was a
sort of jumble in the aisle—and I picked it up for her. I don’t think
she actually threw it, for as we drove away from the church I saw her
in a dreadful, and, it seemed to me, hopeless, struggle with her
pocket; and afterwards my eye caught the missile of good fortune lying,
it or its fellow, most obviously mislaid, behind the umbrella-stand in
the hall....
The whole business was much more absurd, more incoherent, more human
than I had anticipated, but I was far too young and serious to let the
latter quality atone for its shortcomings. I am so remote from this
phase of my youth that I can look back at it all as dispassionately as
one looks at a picture—at some wonderful, perfect sort of picture that
is inexhaustible; but at the time these things filled me with
unspeakable resentment. Now I go round it all, look into its details,
generalise about its aspects. I’m interested, for example, to square it
with my Bladesover theory of the British social scheme. Under stress of
tradition we were all of us trying in the fermenting chaos of London to
carry out the marriage ceremonies of a Bladesover tenant or one of the
chubby middling sort of people in some dependent country town. There a
marriage is a public function with a public significance. There the
church is to a large extent the gathering-place of the community, and
your going to be married a thing of importance to every one you pass on
the road. It is a change of status that quite legitimately interests
the whole neighbourhood. But in London there are no neighbours, nobody
knows, nobody cares. An absolute stranger in an office took my notice,
and our banns were proclaimed to ears that had never previously heard
our names. The clergyman, even, who married us had never seen us
before, and didn’t in any degree intimate that he wanted to see us
again.
Neighbours in London! The Ramboats did not know the names of the people
on either side of them. As I waited for Marion before we started off
upon our honeymoon flight, Mr. Ramboat, I remember, came and stood
beside me and stared out of the window.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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