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He nodded darkly and almost forbiddingly.
More would have been too much. The thing was said. But from that time
forth I knew I could depend upon him and that he and I were friends. It
happens I never did have to depend upon him, but that does not affect
our relationship.
Forward the crew lived lives very much after the fashion of ours, more
crowded, more cramped and dirty, wetter, steamier, more verminous. The
coarse food they had was still not so coarse but that they did not
think they were living “like fighting cocks.” So far as I could make
out they were all nearly destitute men; hardly any of them had a proper
sea outfit, and what small possessions they had were a source of mutual
distrust. And as we pitched and floundered southward they gambled and
fought, were brutal to one another, argued and wrangled loudly, until
we protested at the uproar.
There’s no romance about the sea in a small sailing ship as I saw it.
The romance is in the mind of the landsman dreamer. These brigs and
schooners and brigantines that still stand out from every little port
are relics from an age of petty trade, as rotten and obsolescent as a
Georgian house that has sunken into a slum. They are indeed just
floating fragments of slum, much as icebergs are floating fragments of
glacier. The civilised man who has learnt to wash, who has developed a
sense of physical honour, of cleanly temperate feeding, of time, can
endure them no more. They pass, and the clanking coal-wasting steamers
will follow them, giving place to cleaner, finer things....
But so it was I made my voyage to Africa, and came at last into a world
of steamy fogs and a hot smell of vegetable decay, and into sound and
sight of surf and distant intermittent glimpses of the coast. I lived a
strange concentrated life through all that time, such a life as a
creature must do that has fallen in a well. All my former ways ceased,
all my old vistas became memories.
The situation I was saving was very small and distant now; I felt its
urgency no more. Beatrice and Lady Grove, my uncle and the Hardingham,
my soaring in the air and my habitual wide vision of swift effectual
things, became as remote as if they were in some world I had left for
ever....
IV
All these African memories stand by themselves. It was for me an
expedition into the realms of undisciplined nature out of the world
that is ruled by men, my first bout with that hot side of our mother
that gives you the jungle—that cold side that gives you the air-eddy I
was beginning to know passing well. They are memories woven upon a
fabric of sunshine and heat and a constant warm smell of decay. They
end in rain—such rain as I had never seen before, a vehement, a frantic
downpouring of water, but our first slow passage through the channels
behind Mordet’s Island was in incandescent sunshine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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