England -- Fiction; Patent medicines -- Marketing -- Fiction; Pharmaceutical industry -- Fiction; Satire; Science fiction
No, I didn’t like those young countrymen, and I’m no believer in the
English countryside under the Bladesover system as a breeding ground
for honourable men. One hears a frightful lot of nonsense about the
Rural Exodus and the degeneration wrought by town life upon our
population. To my mind, the English townsman, even in the slums, is
infinitely better spiritually, more courageous, more imaginative and
cleaner, than his agricultural cousin. I’ve seen them both when they
didn’t think they were being observed, and I know. There was something
about my Wimblehurst companions that disgusted me. It’s hard to define.
Heaven knows that at that cockney boarding-school at Goudhurst we were
coarse enough; the Wimblehurst youngsters had neither words nor courage
for the sort of thing we used to do—for our bad language, for example;
but, on the other hand, they displayed a sort of sluggish, real
lewdness, lewdness is the word—a baseness of attitude. Whatever we
exiled urbans did at Goudhurst was touched with something, however
coarse, of romantic imagination. We had read the _Boys of England_, and
told each other stories. In the English countryside there are no books
at all, no songs, no drama, no valiant sin even; all these things have
never come or they were taken away and hidden generations ago, and the
imagination aborts and bestialises. That, I think, is where the real
difference against the English rural man lies. It is because I know
this that I do not share in the common repinings because our
countryside is being depopulated, because our population is passing
through the furnace of the towns. They starve, they suffer, no doubt,
but they come out of it hardened, they come out of it with souls.
Of an evening the Wimblehurst blade, shiny-faced from a wash and with
some loud finery, a coloured waistcoat or a vivid tie, would betake
himself to the Eastry Arms billiard-room, or to the bar parlour of some
minor pub where nap could be played. One soon sickened of his slow
knowingness, the cunning observation of his deadened eyes, his idea of
a “good story,” always, always told in undertones, poor dirty worm! his
shrewd, elaborate maneuvers for some petty advantage, a drink to the
good or such-like deal. There rises before my eyes as I write, young
Hopley Dodd, the son of the Wimblehurst auctioneer, the pride of
Wimblehurst, its finest flower, with his fur waistcoat and his bulldog
pipe, his riding breeches—he had no horse—and his gaiters, as he used
to sit, leaning forward and watching the billiard-table from under the
brim of his artfully tilted hat. A half-dozen phrases constituted his
conversation: “hard lines!” he used to say, and “Good baazness,” in a
bass bleat. Moreover, he had a long slow whistle that was esteemed the
very cream of humorous comment. Night after night he was there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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