England -- Fiction; Patent medicines -- Marketing -- Fiction; Pharmaceutical industry -- Fiction; Satire; Science fiction
And as I went along the embankment the first effect was all against my
uncle. He shrank—for a little while he continued to shrink—in
perspective until he was only a very small shabby little man in a dirty
back street, sending off a few hundred bottles of rubbish to foolish
buyers. The great buildings on the right of us, the Inns and the School
Board place—as it was then—Somerset House, the big hotels, the great
bridges, Westminster’s outlines ahead, had an effect of grey largeness
that reduced him to the proportions of a busy black beetle in a crack
in the floor.
And then my eye caught the advertisements on the south side of
“Sorber’s Food,” of “Cracknell’s Ferric Wine,” very bright and
prosperous signs, illuminated at night, and I realised how
astonishingly they looked at home there, how evidently part they were
in the whole thing.
I saw a man come charging out of Palace Yard—the policeman touched his
helmet to him—with a hat and a bearing astonishingly like my uncle’s.
After all,—didn’t Cracknell himself sit in the House?
Tono-Bungay shouted at me from a hoarding near Adelphi Terrace; I saw
it afar off near Carfax Street; it cried out again upon me in
Kensington High Street, and burst into a perfect clamour; six or seven
times I saw it as I drew near my diggings. It certainly had an air of
being something more than a dream.
Yes, I thought it over—thoroughly enough.... Trade rules the world.
Wealth rather than trade! The thing was true, and true too was my
uncle’s proposition that the quickest way to get wealth is to sell the
cheapest thing possible in the dearest bottle. He was frightfully right
after all. _Pecunia non olet_,—a Roman emperor said that. Perhaps my
great heroes in Plutarch were no more than such men, fine now only
because they are distant; perhaps after all this Socialism to which I
had been drawn was only a foolish dream, only the more foolish because
all its promises were conditionally true. Morris and these others
played with it wittingly; it gave a zest, a touch of substance, to
their aesthetic pleasures. Never would there be good faith enough to
bring such things about. They knew it; every one, except a few young
fools, knew it. As I crossed the corner of St. James’s Park wrapped in
thought, I dodged back just in time to escape a prancing pair of greys.
A stout, common-looking woman, very magnificently dressed, regarded me
from the carriage with a scornful eye. “No doubt,” thought I, “a
pill-vendor’s wife....”
Running through all my thoughts, surging out like a refrain, was my
uncle’s master-stroke, his admirable touch of praise: “Make it all
slick—and then make it go Woosh. I know you can! Oh! I _know_ you can!”
IV
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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