“Listen to me for one moment, Alice,” said he, taking her hand as he
walked beside her. “You are fully as much the mistress of your fate as
I am master of mine. You may consult, but you need not obey. Had it been
otherwise, I never would have dared on a hardihood that would probably
have wrecked my hopes. It is just as likely I never could satisfy the
friends about you on the score of my fortune,--my means,--my station,
and so on. It is possible, too, that scandal, which makes free with
better men, may not have spared me, and that they who would have the
right to advise you might say, 'Beware of that dreadful man.' I repeat,
this is an ordeal my pride would feel it hard to pass through; and so
I come to you, in all frankness, and declare I love you. To you--you
alone--I will give every guarantee that a man may give of his honor and
honesty. I will tell all my past, and so much as I mean for the future;
and in return, I only ask for time,--nothing but time, Alice. I am not
asking you for any pledge, simply that you will give me--what you would
not have refused a mere acquaintance--the happiness of seeing you daily;
and if--if, I say, you yourself should not deem the hand and the love
I offer beneath you,--if you should be satisfied with the claims of him
who would share his fortune with you,--that then--not till then--others
should hear of it. Is this too much for me to ask, or you to give,
Alice?”
“Even now I do not know what you ask of me.”
“First of all, that you bid me stay.”
“It is but this moment you have declared to me that what calls you away
is of the very last importance to you in life.”
“The last but one, Alice,--the last is here;” and he kissed her hand as
he spoke, but still with an air so deferent that she could not resent
it.
“I cannot consent that it shall be so,” said she, with energy. “It is
true I am my own mistress, and there is but the greater reason why I
should be more cautious. We are almost strangers to each other. All the
flattery of your professions--and of course, I feel it as flattery--does
not blind me to the fact that I scarcely know you at all.”
“Why not consent to know me more?” asked he, almost imploringly.
“I agree, if no pledge is to accompany my consent.”
“Is not this a somewhat hard condition?” said he, with a voice of
passionate meaning. “You bid me, in one word, place all that I have of
hope on the issue,--not even on that, but simply for leave to play the
game. Is this generous, Alice,--is it even just?”
“You bewilder me with all these subtleties, and I might ask if this were
either just or generous; but at least, I will be frank. I like you very
well. I think it not at all impossible that I might like you better; but
even after that, Mr. Mainland, there would be a long stage to travel
to that degree of regard which you profess to desire from me. Do I make
myself understood?”
“Too well for me and my hopes!” said he, despondingly. “You are able,
however, to impose hard conditions.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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