"You evade me, but I cannot let you escape. I have a right to know of
what you accuse me, what you think gives you the right to speak
slighting words to a poor, defenceless girl. You are Herr von Heydeck's
friend, perhaps you accuse me, as he did publicly, of arrogance,
self-conceit, and despicable pride of purse, and therefore feel
yourself justified in humiliating me? You need not answer, I see in
your face that if you spoke honestly you would be obliged to say 'Yes;'
but I solemnly declare that you do me bitter injustice! You, who know
the misery of being rich, will believe me when I tell you how I detest
and despise this wretched wealth that poisons every enjoyment of life
for me. I purse-proud! I who am forced to feel with shame and pain
every hour of the day that I myself am nothing, that with the exception
of two or three friends every human being who comes near me values me
for my money! And never was I so painfully conscious of this as at the
present moment. For you, with your millions, my wealth is valueless. In
your eyes I am simply an insignificant girl whom you regard with
contempt, and whom you feel yourself justified in humiliating by
offensive words of reproof. But I promised to forget what you said, and
I will keep my word. Let us speak of something else.
"I came out upon this balcony with my friend Aline with a purpose in
view. I knew you were here, and I wished to speak with you. Chance has
brought me to Tausens. I wished to avoid the stream of tourists, and if
possible to spend a few quiet weeks in some retired corner of the
Tyrol. I hoped to find this asylum in Tausens, and my kind uncle
consented to accompany me hither, although he knew that he should be
obliged to forego here many of his daily luxuries and even comforts.
Upon arriving at noon to-day we learned that three gentlemen were
already lodging at the 'Post.' Your name was mentioned, and also that
of Herr von Heydeck, whereupon my uncle and Herr von Bertram would have
left Tausens immediately. But I refused to do so. I am quite sure of
never having given Herr von Heydeck the slightest reason for the
offensive expressions which were the cause of his quarrel with Herr von
Bertram. I can therefore meet him frankly and fearlessly. There is no
reason why I should run away from him, and I shall certainly not do so.
This is why I stayed."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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