"She was a beautiful woman, the only daughter of a retired city
merchant, and fond of the admiration of successful men. That she loved
me before I attained to eminence in the various professions in which the
fiend had compelled me to dabble, I had much reason to believe; but I
had never ventured to make love to her in dead earnest, because I feared
for the result. She had often said to me that while she should never
marry for riches and position, she did not intend to fall in love with
any man just because he had neither, and that no man need ever propose
marriage to her who was not reasonably sure of a successful career. It
was not selfishness that led her to think and speak in this manner, but
a realizing sense of the unhappy fact that mediocrity married is as
hopeless as a broken-winded race-horse in harness. There is plenty of
ambition but no future, and as she often said, 'Where hopelessness
comes, happiness dwelleth not!'"
"A daughter of Solomon, I wot," interrupted Toppleton.
"Yes," said the spirit, with a sigh for her he had lost, "and rather
superior to the old gentleman in a great many ways. Of course I
understood, and, lacking achievement in my profession, discreetly held
my tongue on the subject of matrimony, taking good care, however, when I
called never to let any other fellow outstay me, unless perchance he was
some poor drivelling idiot from whose immediate present the laurel was
further removed than from my own. She understood me, I think, though I
never put that point to a practical test by a proposal of marriage. This
was the state of affairs at the time of my first meeting with the fiend,
and for a year subsequent to that ill-starred night upon which he first
crossed my path I let matters take their own course, waiting a
favourable opportunity to ask the great question, upon the answer to
which hung all my future happiness. I could see that with my increasing
fame, her interest in me waxed; but as every passing day brought new and
undreamed-of distinctions she grew more and more reserved toward me--a
most feminine trait that, Hopkins. When a woman begins to love a man in
dead earnest, in nine cases out of ten she will make him feel that he is
utterly abhorrent to her, and it's a good thing she does, because it
makes him look carefully into his own character in an endeavour to
discover and to root out all the undesirable features thereof. It is
this that enables love to redeem men whom the world considers
irredeemable, so, of course, I had no feeling of discouragement at her
growing coldness, for, understanding women, I knew exactly what it
meant. I think I was more or less of an enigma to her."
"I should think it likely," said Toppleton. "If she really knew you, she
must have been mightily surprised at your sudden strides towards
universal genius. It's a wonder to me that she did not suspect the
enigma, and give it up."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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