Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- United States -- Fiction
Now some folks I know of works it just opposite, and they may be right,
too. Mr. Piddie, our office manager, for instance. He's always afraid
something will happen to him. I've heard him talk about it enough. Not
just accidents that might leave him an ambulance case, or worse, but
anything that don't come in his reg'lar routine; little things, like
forgettin' his commutation ticket, or gettin' lost in Brooklyn, or
havin' his new straw lid blow under a truck and walkin' bareheaded a few
blocks. Say, I'll bet he won't like it in Heaven if he can't punch a
time card every mornin', or if they shift him around much to different
harp sections.
While me, I ain't worryin' what tomorrow will be like if it's only some
different from yesterday. And generally it is. Take this last little
whirl of mine. I'll admit it leaves me a bit dizzy in the head, like
I'd been side-swiped by a passing event. Also my pride had had a bump
when I didn't know I had such a thing. Maybe that's why I look so dazed.
What led up to it all was a little squint into the past that me and Old
Hickory indulged in here a week or so back. I'd been openin' the mornin'
mail, speedy and casual as a first-class private sec. ought to do, and
sortin' it into the baskets, when I runs across this note which should
have been marked "Personal." I'd only glanced at the "Dear old pal"
start and the "Yours to a finish, Bonnie," endin' when I lugs it into
the private office.
"I expect this must have been meant for Mr. Robert; eh, Mr. Ellins?"
says I, handin' it over.
It's written sort of scrawly and foreign on swell stationery and Old
Hickory don't get many of that kind, as you can guess. He reads it clear
through, though, without even a grunt. Then he waves me into a chair.
"As it happens, Torchy," says he, "this was meant for no one but me."
"My error," says I. "I didn't read it, though."
He don't seem to take much notice of that statement, just sits there
gazin' vacant at the wall and fingerin' his cigar. After a minute or so
of this he remarks, sort of to himself: "Bonnie, eh? Well, well!"
I might have smiled. Probably I did, for the last person in the world
you'd look for anything like mushy sentiments from would be Old Hickory
Ellins. Couldn't have been much more than a flicker of a smile at that.
But them keen old eyes of his don't miss much that's going on, even when
he seems to be in a trance. He turns quick and gives me one of them
quizzin' stares.
"Funny, isn't it, son," says he, "that I should still be called Dear Old
Pal by the most fascinating woman in the world?"
"Oh, I don't know," says I, tryin' to pull the diplomatic stuff.
"You young rascal!" says he. "Think I'm no judge, eh? Here! Wait a
moment. Now let's see. Um-m-m-m!"
He's pullin' out first one desk drawer and then another. Finally he digs
out a faded leather photograph case and opens it.
"There!" he goes on. "That's Bonnie Sutton. What about her?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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