Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- United States -- Fiction
That's a good line to pull, that "he couldn't, so he didn't," when
you're doin' this Sherlock-Watson stuff. Sounds professional. Mr. Robert
nods and then looks at me expectant as if he was waitin' to hear what
I'd deduce next. But as a matter of fact my deducer was runnin' down.
Yet when you've got a boss who always expects you to cerebrate in high
gear, as he's so fond of puttin' it, you've got to produce something
off-hand, or stall around.
"Now, let's see," says I, registerin' deep thought, "if Penrhyn was to
go anywhere on his own hook, where would it be? You know his habits
pretty well, Mr. Robert. What's your guess?"
"Why, I should say he would make for the nearest golf course," says he.
"He's a golf shark, is he?" says I.
"Not in the sense you mean," says Mr. Robert. "Hardly. Penrhyn is a
consistent but earnest duffer. The ambition of his life is to break 100
on some decent course. He has talked enough about it to me. Yes, that is
probably where he is, if he's still alive, off playing golf somewhere."
"Begging your pardon, sir," puts in Nimms, "but that could 'ardly be so,
sir, seeing as 'ow 'is sticks are still 'ere. That's the strange part of
'is disappearance, sir. 'E never travels without 'is bag of sticks. And
they're in that closet, sir."
"Couldn't he rent an outfit, or borrow one?" I suggests.
"He could," says Mr. Robert, "but he wouldn't. No more than you would
rent a toothbrush. That is one of the symptoms of the golf duffer. He
has his pet clubs and imagines he can play with no others. I think we
must agree with Nimms. If we do, the case looks serious again, for
Penrhyn would certainly not go away voluntarily unless it was to some
place where he could indulge in his mania."
"That's it!" says I. "Then he's been steered somewhere against his will.
That's the line! Which brings us back to Whitey Weeks. Who else but
Whitey would want him shunted off out of sight for a week or so?"
"But you don't think he would go so far as to kidnap Penrhyn, do you?"
asks Mr. Robert.
"Who, Whitey?" says I. "He'd kidnap his grandmother if he saw a front
page story in it. Maybe he'd had this disappearance stunt all worked up
when Mr. Deems balked. So he gets him when he's rigged up in some crazy
costume, with all his regular clothes at home, and tolls him off to some
out of the way spot. See? In that rig Penrhyn would have to stay put,
wouldn't he? Couldn't show himself among folks without being mobbed. So
he'd have to lay low until someone brought him a suit of clothes."
"That would be an ingenious way of doing it," admits Mr. Robert.
"Believe me, Whitey has that kind of a mind," says I, "or else he
wouldn't be handling the Alf. Shuman publicity work."
"But where could he have taken him?" asks Mr. Robert.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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