Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- United States -- Fiction
Course, so far as the force is concerned, he's just so much dead wood.
Every shake-up we have somebody wants to fire him, or pension him off.
But Mr. Ellins won't have it. "No," says he. "Let him stay on." And you
bet Jonesey stays. He drills around, fussin' over the files, doing
things just the way he did twenty years ago, I suppose, but never
gettin' in anybody's way or pullin' any grouch. I've got so I don't
notice him any more than as if he was somebody's shadow passin' by. You
know, he's just a blank. And if it wasn't for them bond-room humorists
cuttin' loose at him once in a while I'd almost forget whether he was
still on the staff or not.
It was this same afternoon, along about 2:30, that I gets a call from
Old Hickory's private office and finds this picturesque lookin' bird
with the three piece white lip whiskers and the premature Panama lid
glarin' indignant at the boss.
"Torchy," says Mr. Ellins, glancin' at a card, "this is Senor Don Pedro
Cassaba y Tarragona."
"Oh, yes!" says I, just as though I wasn't surprised a bit.
"Senor Don Pedro and so on," adds Old Hickory, "is from Havana, and for
the last half hour he has been trying to tell me something very
important, I've no doubt, to him. As it happens I am rather busy on some
affairs of my own and I--er--Oh, for the love of soup, Torchy take him
away somewhere and find out what it's all about."
"Sure!" says I. "This way, Seenor."
"Perdone," says he. "Say-nohr."
"Got you," says I, "only I may not follow you very far. About all the
Spanish I had I used up this noon orderin' an omelet, but maybe we can
get somewhere if we're both patient. Here we are, in my nice cozy corner
with all the rest of the day before us. Have a chair, Say-nohr."
He's a perky, high-colored old boy, and to judge by the restless black
eyes, a real live wire. He looks me over sort of doubtful, stroking the
zippy little chin tuft as he does it, but he ends by shruggin' his
shoulders resigned.
"I come," says he, "in quest of Senor Captain Yohness."
"Yohness?" says I, tryin' to look thoughtful. "No such party around here
that I know of."
"It must be," says he. "That I have ascertained."
"Oh, well!" says I. "Suppose we admit that much as a starter. What about
him? What's he done?"
"Ah!" says the Senor Don Pedro, spreadin' out his hands eloquent. "But
that is a long tale."
It was, too. I expect that was what had got him in wrong with Old
Hickory. However, he tackles it once more, using the full-arm movement
and sprinklin' in Spanish liberal whenever he got stuck. Course, this
fallin' back on his native tongue must have been a relief to him, but it
didn't help me out much. Some I could guess at, and when I couldn't I'd
get him to repeat it until I worked up a hunch. Then we'd take a fresh
start. It's surprisin', too, how well we got along after we had the
system doped out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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