Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- United States -- Fiction
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," says Lucy Lee, springin' the baby
stare. "They are simply some of my men friends. For instance, this is
dear old Major Knight, who's chairman of some board or other that Daddy
is a director on. He is so jolly and is always saying--Well, never mind
that. This one is Victor Norris, who tried so hard to get into aviation
and was just about to fly when the war had to go and end it. He's a
perfectly heavenly dancer. Then there's poor Arthur Kirby, only a
secretary to some senator, but such a nice boy. And the one in the naval
uniform is Dick--er--Well, I met him at a dinner in Washington just
before he got his discharge and he told me so many thrilling things
about chasing submarines in the North Sea or--or the Mediterranean or
somewhere. Hasn't he nice eyes, though? And this next one----"
Well, I forget the rest for about then I got busy wonderin' how she
could keep the run of 'em all without the aid of a card index. But she
could. To Lucy Lee life must seem like a parade, she being the given
point. Which was where I begun to agree with Vee that there ought to be
a fourth plate put on the table, for over Sunday, at least.
"But who'll I get?" I asks.
"Silly!" says Vee. "A man, of course. Any man."
"All right," says I. "I'll try to collect somebody, even if I have to
draft Piddie."
Saturday afternoon is apt to be more or less of a busy time at the
Corrugated though, so it's near noon before I remembers my promise and
begins to look around panicky. No, Mr. Piddie couldn't oblige. He'd
planned to take the fam'ly to the Bronx. Sudders, our assistant auditor,
was booked for an all day golf orgie. I'd almost decided to kidnap
Vincent, our fair-haired office boy with the parlor manners, when I
happened to pass through the bond room and gets a glimpse of this Peyton
Pratt person lingerin' at his desk. He's diggin' a time-table out of a
suitcase.
"Whither away, Peyton?" says I.
"Oh!" says he, sighin' discontented. "I suppose I must run up and spend
the day with my married sister in New Haven."
"Why act so tickled over it?" says I.
"But I'm not, really," says Peyton. "It isn't that I am not fond of
Ethel, and all that sort of thing. Walter--that's her husband--is a good
sort, too, and the children are nice enough. But it's quite a trip to
take for such a short visit--and rather expensive, you know. I've just
been figuring up."
So he had. There on an office pad he's jotted down every item, including
the cost of a ten-word day message and the price of a box of candy for
the youngsters. He hadn't sent the wire yet, or bought the candy.
"Got your dinner coat in there?" I asks, noddin' to the suitcase.
He says he has.
"Then listen," says I. "Cross New Haven off the map for this time and
lemme put you next to a week-end that won't set you back a nickel.
Haven't seen my place out on Long Island yet, have you; or met the new
heir to the house of Torchy?"
"Why--why, no, I haven't," hesitates Peyton.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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