Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction
And about then I begins to get a glimmer of this brilliant thought of
mine. "Would it have been in that three-cornered strip that runs along
by the road?" I asks.
"It might," says he.
I didn't press him for any more details. I'd heard enough. I finished my
invalid's lunch and slid out. But say, when I caught the 5:13 out to
Harbor Hills that afternoon I had something all doped out to slip to
that bunch of comic commuters. I laid for 'em in the smokin' car, and
when Nick Barrett discovers me inspectin' my palm blisters he starts in
with his kidding again.
"Oh, you'll be able to get out and dig again in a week or so," says he.
"I hope so," says I.
"Still strong for it, eh?" says he.
"Maybe if you knew what I was diggin' for," says I, "you'd--well,
there's no tellin'."
"Eh?" says he. "Whaddye mean?"
I shakes my head and looks mysterious.
"Isn't it green corn, or string beans that you're aimin' at, Torchy?" he
asks.
"Not exactly," says I. "Vegetable raisin' ain't in my line. I leave
that to Dominick. But this--oh, well!"
"You don't mean," insists Nick, eyein' me close, "buried treasure!"
"I expect some would call it that--in these days," says I.
Uh-huh! I had him sittin' up by then, with his ear stretched. And I must
say that from then on Nick does some scientific pumpin'. Not that I let
out anything in so many words, but I'm afraid he got the idea that what
I was after was something money couldn't buy. That is, not unless
somebody violated a sacred amendment to the grand old constitution. In
fact, I may have mentioned casually that a whole case of Gordon was
worth riskin' a blister here and there.
As for Nick, he simply listens and gasps. You know how desperate some of
them sporty ginks are, who started out so gay only a year or so ago with
a private stock in the cellar that they figured would last 'em until the
country rose in wrath and undid Mr. Volstead's famous act? Most of 'em
are discoverin' what poor guessers they were. About 90 per cent are
bluffin' along on home brew hooch that has all the delicate bouquet of
embalmin' fluid and produced about the same effect as a slug of liquid
T. N. T., or else they're samplin' various kinds of patent medicines and
perfumes. Why, I know of one thirsty soul who tries to work up a dinner
appetite by rattlin' a handful of shingle nails in the old shaker. And
if Nick Barrett has more 'n half a bottle of Martini mixture left in the
house he sleeps with it under his pillow. So you can judge how far his
tongue hangs out when he gets me to hint that maybe a whole case of
Gordon is buried somewhere on my premises.
"Torchy," says he, shakin' me solemn by the hand, "I wish you the best
of luck. If you'll take my advice, though, you won't mention this to
anyone else."
Oh, no, I didn't. That is, only to Norrie Bagby and one or two others
that I managed to get a word with on the ride home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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