Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction
Say, I most got peeved with this unknown that had ditched Mr. Robert so
hard. All that evenin' I mulls over it, wonderin' how long ago it had
happened and if that accounted for him bein' so cagy in makin' social
dates. Not that he's what you'd call skirt-shy exactly; but I've noticed
that he's always cautious about bein' backed into a corner or paired off
with any special one.
Course, not knowin' the details of the tragedy, it wa'n't much use
speculatin'. And somehow I didn't feel like askin' for the whole story
right out. You know--there's times when you just can't. I ain't any more
curious than usual over this special case, either; but, seein' how many
good turns Mr. Robert's done for me along the only-girl line, I got to
wishin' there was some way I could sort of balance the account.
So when I stumbles across this concert folder it almost looks like a
special act, with the arrow pointin' my way. I was payin' my reg'lar
official Friday evenin' call. No, nothin' romantic. Just because Aunty's
mellowed up a bit since I'm announced proper by the front door help as
Mr. Ballard, don't get tangled up with the idea that she stands for any
dark corner twosin'. Nothin' like that! All the lights are on full
blast, Aunty's right there prominent with her crochet, and on the other
side of the table is me and Vee. And I couldn't be behavin' more
innocent if I'd been roped to the chair. All I was holdin' was a skein
of yarn. Uh-huh! You see, Vee got the knittin' habit last winter,
turnin' out stuff for the Belgians, and now she keeps right on; though
who she's goin' to wish a pink and white shawl onto in this weather is a
myst'ry.
"It's for a sufferer--isn't that enough?" says she.
"From what--chilblains on the ears?" says I.
"Silly!" says she. "There! Didn't I tell you to bend your thumbs? How
awkward!"
"Who, me?" says I. "Why, for a first attempt I thought I was puttin' up
a real classy performance. Say, lemme wind awhile, and let's see you try
this yarn-jugglin' act."
She won't, though; so it's me sittin' there playin' dummy, with my arms
held out stiff and my eyes roamin' around restless.
Which is how I happen to spot this folder with the halftone cut on it.
It's been tossed casual on the table, and the picture is wrong side to
from where I am; but even then there's something mighty familiar about
it. I wiggles around to get a better view, and lets half a dozen loops
of yarn slip off at a time.
"Stupid!" says Vee, runnin' her tongue out at me.
"Didn't I tell you you'd do better by drapin' it over a chair back?"
says I. "But say, time out while I snoop into something. Who's the girl
with the press notice stuff?" and I points an elbow at the halftone.
"That?" says she. "Oh, some concert singer, I think. Let's see.
Yes--Miss Elsa Hampton. She's to give a benefit song recital in the
Plutoria pink room for the Belgian war orphans, tickets two dollars.
Want to go?" And Vee flips the folder into my lap.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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