Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction
There was no use discountin' the fact, or tryin' to smooth it over. I
was in Dutch with Mr. Robert--all because Vee and I tried to pull a
little Cupid stunt for his benefit. I'd invested six whole dollars in
that bunch of roses we'd passed up to Miss Hampton, too! And just
because we thought it would be a happy hunch to tie in his card with
'em, he goes and gets peevish.
Not that he comes right out and roasts me for gettin' gay. Say, that
would have been a relief; but he don't. He just lugs around a dignified,
injured air and gives me the cold eye. Say, that's the limit, that is!
Makes me feel as mean and little as a green strawb'rry on top of a
bakery shortcake.
Three days I'd had of it, mind you, with never a show to put in any
defense, or plead guilty but sorry, or anything like that. And me all
the time hoping it would wear off. I expect it would too, if someone
could have throttled Billy Bounce. Course nobody could, or it would have
happened long ago. Havin' no more neck than an ice-water pitcher has
been Billy's salvation all through his career.
Maybe you don't remember my mentionin' him before; but he's the
roly-poly club friend of Mr. Robert's who went with us on that alligator
shootin' trip up the Wiggywash two winters ago. Hadn't shown up at the
Corrugated General Offices for months before; but here the other
afternoon he breezed in, dumps his 220 excess into a chair by the
roll-top, mops the heavy dew from various parts of his full-moon face,
and proceeds to get real folksy.
At the time I was waitin' on the far side of the desk for Mr. Robert to
O. K. a fundin' report, and there was other signs of a busy day in plain
sight; but Billy Bounce ain't a bit disturbed by that. He'd come in
loaded with chat.
"Oh, I say, Bob," he breaks out, after a few preliminary joshes, "who do
you suppose I ran across up in the Fitz-William palm room the other
night?"
"A head waiter," says Mr. Robert.
"Oh, come!" says Billy. "Give a guess."
"One of your front-row friends from the Winter Garden?" asks Mr. Robert.
"No, a friend of yours," says Billy. "That blue-eyed warbler you used to
be so nutty over--Miss Hampton. Eh, Bob? How about it?" With which he
reaches over playful and pokes Mr. Robert in the ribs.
I expect he'd have put it across just as raw if there'd been a dozen
around instead of only me. That's Billy Bounce. About as much delicate
reserve, Billy has, as a traffic cop clearin' up a street tangle.
"Indeed!" says Mr. Robert, flushin' a bit. "Clever of you to remember
her. I--er--I trust she was charmed to meet you again?"
"The deuce you do!" comes back Billy. "Anyway, she wasn't as grouchy
about it as you are. Say, she's all right, Miss Hampton is; a heap too
nice for a big ham like you, as I always said."
"Yes, I believe I recall your hinting as much," says Mr. Robert; "but if
you don't mind I'd rather not discuss----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account