Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction
"Not much," says I. "This is the right place at the right time. Didn't
you tell me to go as far as I liked, so long as I made it merry?"
"So I did, Torchy," he admits.
"Then prepare to cut loose," says I. "This way, everybody, and get on
your weddin' clothes!"
For a second or so Mr. Robert hangs back. He glances doubtful at Miss
Hampton. But say, she's a good sport, she is.
"Come along, Robert," says she. "I'm sure Torchy has planned something
unique."
I didn't dispute her. It was all of that. First we groups the ladies on
the south veranda behind a lot of screens, and herds the men around the
corner. Then we unpacks them suitcases of Whitey's and distributes the
things. Such regalias, too! What Mr. Robert draws is mostly two colored
tights, spangled trunks, a gorgeous cape, peak-toed shoes of red
leather, and a sword. Maybe he didn't look some spiffy in it!
You should have seen Ferdie, though, with a tow-colored wig clapped down
over his ears and his spindle shanks revealed to a cold and cruel world
in a pair of faded pink ballet trousers. For the Reverend Percy they dug
out a fuzzy brown bathrobe with a hood, and tied a rope around his
waist. Me, I'm dolled up in green tights and a leather coat, and get a
bugle to carry.
How frisky a few freak clothes make you feel, don't they? Mr. Robert
begins cuttin' up at once, and even Ferdie shows signs of wantin' to
indulge in frivolous motions, if he only knew how. The reg'lar movie
people gets the idea this is goin' to be some kind of a lark, and they
joins in, too. When the ladies appeared they sure looked stunnin'. Miss
Hampton has on a fancy flarin' collar two feet high, and a skirt like a
balloon; but she's a star in it just the same. Sister Marjorie, who's a
bit husky anyway, looks like a human hay-stack in that rig. And
Vee--well, say, she'd be a winner in any date costume you could name.
Meanwhile Whitey has posted his camera men in the shrubbery, where they
can get the focus without bein' seen, and has rounded us up for a little
preliminary coachin'.
"Remember," says he, "what we're supposed to be doing is a wedding, back
in the days of Robin Hood, with all the merry villagers given a day off.
So make it snappy. We want action, lots of it. Let yourselves go. Laugh,
kick up your heels, let out the hi-yi-yips! Now, then! Are you ready?"
"Wait until I start the band," says I. "Hey, there, Mr. Rovelli! Music
cue! Something zippy and raggy. Shoot it!"
Say, I don't know how them early English parties used to put it over
when they got together for a mad, gladsome romp on the greensward, but
if they had anything on us they must have been double-jointed. For, with
Mr. Robert and Miss Hampton skippin' along hand in hand, Vee and me
keepin' step behind, a couple of movie ladies rushin' the Reverend Percy
over the grass rapid, and the other couples with arms linked, doin'
fancy steps to a jingly fox-trot--well, take it from me, it was gay
doin's.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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