Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction
She chews that over a minute. "That's cheap enough," says she. "I could
claim I'd remembered putting the money somewhere and forgotten. Young
man, it's a bargain. I'll have my lawyer go down and----"
"Say," I breaks in, "why fat up a lawyer? Let's settle this between you
and me."
"But how?" says she.
"Just a minute," says I, lookin' her full in the eyes. "I'm playin' you
to give Allston a square deal, you know."
"You can bank on that," says she. "Connie Murtha's word was always as
good as government bonds. And if you can wish back that twenty thousand,
I'll put a quick crimp in this prosecution."
"What could be fairer than that?" says I. "I'll be back in an hour."
It was only forty-five minutes, in fact; but Mrs. Connie was watchin'
for me.
"Let's have a pair of scissors," says I, as I sheds my overcoat and
produced from under one arm, where it had been buttoned up snug and
tight, about the worst-lookin' doll you ever saw. I hadn't figured on
Mrs. Murtha goin' huffy so sudden, either.
"You fresh young shrimp you!" she blazes out. "What's that?"
"This is Arabella," says I. "She's sufferin' from a bad case of
undigested securities, and I got to amputate."
She stands by watchin' the operation suspicious and ready to lam me one
on the ear, I expect. But on the way down I'd sounded Arabella's chest,
and I was backin' my guess. When I found the coarse stitchin' done with
heavy black thread I chuckles.
"More or less the worse for wear, Arabella, eh?" says I. "But how that
youngster did hang onto her! Little Helma Allston, you know. And me
offerin' to swap a brand-new two-dollar one that could open and shut its
eyes! 'It's for Daddums,' I says at last, and she gives up. There! Now
we're gettin' to it. No wonder Arabella was some plump!"
"Well, of all places!" gasps out Mrs. Murtha, and, believe me, it don't
take her long to leave Arabella flat as a pancake. "But how did he
manage to----"
"It was the night before," says I. "You didn't miss the roll until the
next afternoon. And he ain't a reg'lar crook, you know. It was a case of
bein' up against it,--sickness, and wantin' to get away somewhere with
the kid. Honest, he don't strike me as such a bad lot: only a little
limber in the backbone. Better count it."
"All there," she announces after runnin' through the bunch. "And maybe
I'm not tickled to get it back! Catch me forgetting to lock that safe
again! But I thought no one knew. Allston must have seen me moving the
picture and guessed. Well, I'm not sore. Poor devil! I'll call up the
District Attorney's office right away. He gets those tickets to
Australia, too. Leave that to me."
Yep! Mrs. Connie wa'n't chuckin' any bluff. She went down herself and
had the indictment ditched.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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