"On the contrary," says he, "it's quite serious,--a sculptor in distress; a noble young Belgian at that, one Djickyns, in whose cause, it seems, I was rash enough to enlist at a recent dinner party. And now----" Mr. Robert waves towards his piled-up desk. "I'd be a hot substitute along that line, wouldn't I?" says I. "As I understand the situation," goes on Mr. Robert, "it is not a matter of giving artistic advice, but of--er--financing the said Djickyns." "Oh!" says I. "Slippin' him a check?" Mr. Robert shakes his head. "Nothing so simple," says he. "One doesn't slip checks to noble young sculptors. In this instance I am supposed to assist in outlining a plan whereby certain alleged objects of art may be--er----" "Wished onto suckers in exchange for real money, eh?" says I. "Ain't that it?" Mr. Robert nods. "With so many dividends bein' passed," says I, "that's goin' to take some strategy." "Hence this appeal to us," says he. "And I might add, Torchy, that one of those most interested is a near relative of a certain young lady who----" "Aunty?" says I. It was. So I grins and grabs my hat. "That bein' the case, Mr. Robert," says I, "we'll finance this Djickyns party if we have to bull the sculpture market till it hits the rafters." With that I takes the address of the scene of trouble and breezes uptown to a third-rate studio buildin'; where I finds Aunty and Vee and Sister Marjorie all grouped around a stepladder on top of which is balanced a pallid youth with long black hair and a fair white brow projectin' out like a double dormer on a cement bungalow. He seems to be tryin' to drape a fish net across the top of an alcove accordin' to three diff'rent sets of directions; but leaves off abrupt when I blows in. You'd hardly guess I'd been sent for, either. "Humph!" remarks Aunty, after I've announced how sorry Mr. Robert was he couldn't come himself and that he's detailed me instead. "How perfectly absurd!" "But, Aunty," protests Vee, "you know Torchy is a private secretary now and understands all about such things. Besides, he knows such heaps of important business men who----" "If he can bring them here Wednesday afternoon, very well," says Aunty; "but I have my doubts that he can." "What's the game?" says I. "It is not a game at all, young man," says Aunty. "Our project, if that is what you mean, is to have a studio tea for Mr. Djickyns and to secure the attendance of as many purchasers for his works as possible. Have you any suggestions?" "Why," says I, "not right off the bat. Maybe if I could chew over the proposition awhile, I might----" "Oh, I say," breaks in the noble young gent on the stepladder, "I--I'm getting dizzy up here, you know. I--I'm feeling rather----" "Mercy!" squeals Marjorie. "He's fainting!" [Illustration: "I gathers him in on the fly."] "Steady there!" I sings out to Djickyns, makin' a jump. "Don't wabble until I get you. Easy!"