English literature -- England -- Lancashire; Legends -- England -- Lancashire
A most whimsical assemblage of materials were here huddled together.
Pans, wooden bowls, and matters of meaner import, entered into close
familiarity with broadswords and helmets; boots of home manufacture in
their primitive clothing; saddles with their housings; knives, and brown
bottles of coarse pottery, were intermingled with many a grim-looking
weapon of bloodthirsty aspect. From the walls depended a heterogeneous
mass of apparel--cloaks, hats, and body-gear of unimaginable shape and
appearance. Dan was steward of the wardrobe, or furniture-keeper to most
of the retainers and other idle appendages to the hall; and as, in those
days, the sciences dependent on order and classification had not spread
their beneficial influence through society at large, it frequently
happened that more time was consumed in rummaging amidst this unexplored
chaos than would have sufficed to transact the whole affair for which
any article was required. A round stool in the middle of this
"_Thesaurus"_--the only unoccupied place except the ceiling--was the
throne of our friend, Dan Hardseg, when dispensing out his treasures
with stately munificence;--on this scanty perch was the stranger duly
installed, and favoured with a benignant and knowing wink from Dan as he
departed.
Waiting for the return of his patron, the pilgrim was roused from a fit
of reverie by the well-remembered greeting of the jester, Humphry
Lathom, or "Daft Humpy," as he was mostly called.
"Eh, nuncle! But if Dan catch thee, he'll be sure to give thee a lift i'
the stocks."
This strange creature cautiously opened the door, and was speedily
engulfed in all that fearful accumulation of sloth and disorder. By his
manner, it did not seem to be his first irruption into this vast
magazine; whilst, from the cautious and fearful glances he from time to
time cast through the door, it would appear that he had been detected in
his expeditions, and in all probability punished for the offence. He was
evidently in search of some object from amidst the various heaps of
lumber he overthrew; an inarticulate mutter, accompanying every fresh
attack, indicated impatience and disappointment. Suddenly he exclaimed,
drawing forth a large roll, with ludicrous expressions of delight--
"I have thee, now! The buck's horns shall soon butt this great Welsh
goat from his pen."
He opened the banner. It was the pennon of the Bradshaigh, thrown aside
to rot in dust and decay.
"Don't tell Dan, nuncle, and thou shall see rare sport."
He said this with his usual familiarity of tone; but suddenly putting
his mouth to the stranger's ear, he whispered. The words were inaudible,
save to him for whom they were meant; and in an instant he darted from
the spot, concealing the spoil amidst the folds of his apparel. Shortly
afterwards Dan made his appearance. With wonder and dismay did he
behold the ravages committed in his treasure-house--"confusion worse
confounded."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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