“As for the newspapers, that’s worse still. They not only crow all round, but they cipher it out so clear, that both sides must win, if there’s any truth in the ciphering-book; which there isn’t about election times. What’s to be done? I’ve tried going to all the meetings—I’ve hurraed for everybody—I’ve been in all the processions, and I sit a little while every evening in all sorts of head-quarters. I’ve got one kind of documents in one pocket, and t’other kind of documents in t’other pocket; and as I go home at night, I sing one sort of song as loud as I can bawl half of the way, and try another sort of song the rest of the way, just to split the difference and show my impartiality. If I only had two votes—a couple of ’em—how nice it would be. “But the best thing that can be done now, I guess, as my character is established both ways, is to turn in quietly till the row is all over. Nobody will miss me when they are so busy; and afterward, when we know all about it, just look for Peleg W. Ponder as he comes down the street, shaking people by the hand, and saying how we have used them up. I can’t say so now, or I would—for I am not perfectly sure yet which is ‘we,’ or which is ‘them.’ Time enough when the election is over.” It will thus be seen that Ponder is a remarkable person. Peter Schlemihl lost his shadow, and became memorably unhappy in consequence; but what was his misfortune when compared with that of the man who has no side? What are shadows if weighed against sides? And Peleg is almost afraid that he never will be able to get a side, so unlucky has he been heretofore. He begins to dread that both sides may be defeated; and then, let us ask, what is to become of him? Must he stand aside? ----- [16] By J. C. Neal. END OF VOL. II. L O N D O N : Printed by Schulze and Co., 13, Poland Street. TRANSCRIBER NOTES Printer errors have been corrected where obvious errors occur. Author spellings have been maintained and differences corrected to majority author use. Inconsistencies in punctuation have been maintained. The Preface from Volume I was included in Volumes II & III. A cover was created for this eBook. [The end of _Traits of American Humour, Vol. II of III_, by Thomas Chandler Halliburton, ed.] End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Traits of American Humour, Vol. II of III, by Various