Translations from the German (Vol 3 of 3): Tales by Musæus, Tieck, RichterCarlyle, Thomas
General
Translations from the German (Vol 3 of 3): Tales by Musæus, Tieck, Richter
Carlyle, Thomas
German fiction -- Translations into English
[Note 32: Our Age (by some called the Paper Age, as if it were made
from the rags of some better-dressed one) is improving in so far, as it
now tears its rags rather into Bandages than into Papers; although, or
because, the Rag-hacker (the Devil as they call it) will not altogether
be at rest. Meanwhile, if Learned Heads transform themselves into Books,
Crowned Heads transform and coin themselves into Government-paper: in
Norway, according to the _Universal Indicator_, the people have even
paper-houses; and in many good German States, the Exchequer Collegium
(to say nothing of the Justice Collegium) keeps its own paper-mills, to
furnish wrappage enough for the meal of its wind-mills. I could wish,
however, that our Collegiums would take pattern from that Glass
Manufactory at Madrid, in which (according to Baumgartner) there were
indeed nineteen clerks stationed, but also eleven workmen.]
Nor was I far wrong, I believe; for soon after this, he began quite
coolly to inform the company, in which were a dwarf and a female, that,
in his time, he had, not without enjoyment, run ten men through the
body; had with great convenience hewed off a dozen men's arms; slowly
split four heads, torn out two hearts, and more of the like sort; while
none of them, otherwise persons of spirit, had in the least resisted:
"but why?" added he, with a poisonous smile, and taking the hat from his
odious bald pate: "I am invulnerable. Let any one of the company that
chooses lay as much fire on my bare crown as he likes, I shall not mind
it."
My brother-in-law, the Dragoon, directly kindled his tinder-box, and put
a heap of the burning matter on the Ratcatcher's pole; but the fellow
stood it, as if it had been a mere picture of fire, and the two looked
expectingly at one another; and the former smiled very foolishly,
saying: "It was simply pleasant to him, like a good warming-plaster; for
this was always the wintry region of his body."
Here the Dragoon groped a little on the naked scull, and cried with
amazement, that "it was as cold as a knee-pan."
But now the fellow, to our horror, after some preparations, actually
lifted off the quarter-scull and held it out to us, saying: "He had
sawed it off a murderer, his own having accidentally been broken;" and
withal explained, that the stabbing and arm-cutting he had talked of was
to be understood as a jest, seeing he had merely done it in the
character of Famulus at an Anatomical Theatre. However, the jester
seemed to rise little in favour with any of us; and for my part, as he
put his brain-lid and sham-scull on again, I thought to myself; "This
dungbed-bell has changed its place indeed, but not the hemlock it was
made to cover."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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