Tremendous TriflesChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
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Tremendous Trifles
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English essays
For the next twenty-four hours I remained in the mental condition of
the modern world. I mean the condition in which all natural explanations
have broken down and no supernatural explanation has been established.
My bewilderment had reached to boredom when I found myself once more in
the colour and clatter of the pageant, and I was all the more pleased
because I met an old school-fellow, and we mutually recognised each
other under our heavy clothes and hoary wigs. We talked about all those
great things for which literature is too small and only life large
enough; red-hot memories and those gigantic details which make up the
characters of men. I heard all about the friends he had lost sight of
and those he had kept in sight; I heard about his profession, and asked
at last how he came into the pageant.
“The fact is,” he said, “a friend of mine asked me, just for to-night,
to act a chap called Paley; I don’t know who he was....”
“No, by thunder!” I said, “nor does anyone.”
This was the last blow, and the next night passed like a dream. I
scarcely noticed the slender, sprightly, and entirely new figure which
fell into the ranks in the place of Paley, so many times deceased. What
could it mean? Why was the giddy Paley unfaithful among the faithful
found? Did these perpetual changes prove the popularity or the
unpopularity of being Paley? Was it that no human being could support
being Paley for one night and live till morning? Or was it that the
gates were crowded with eager throngs of the British public thirsting
to be Paley, who could only be let in one at a time? Or is there some
ancient vendetta against Paley? Does some secret society of Deists still
assassinate any one who adopts the name?
I cannot conjecture further about this true tale of mystery; and that
for two reasons. First, the story is so true that I have had to put a
lie into it. Every word of this narrative is veracious, except the one
word Paley. And second, because I have got to go into the next room and
dress up as Dr. Johnson.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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